Mom wants 'me time' with phone on vacation, husband accuses her of 'missing firsts.'

There are vacations where you want to explore a new city, indulge in cheesy tourist activities and rack up your step count but then there are the very necessary 3 day full brain and body shutdown trips...

So, when a conflicted mom decided to consult the moral compass of the internet otherwise known as Reddit's 'Am I the As*hole' about how she chose to enjoy a vacation with her family, people were quick to help deem a verdict.

AITA (Am I the As*hole) for napping and chilling on my phone during my family vacation?

I’m 33, I run two small business and I do almost everything for the kids (7 and 5) at home. Our kids get fall break so my husband made plans to get an Airbnb close to the beach in LA area.

I made it clear to him that I would go but I wanted a “me” vacation because I was so stressed out from work and kids. He said that was fine but he wanted to spend a lot of time on the beach.

We are now on day 2 and he’s furious with me. I want to lay in bed all day, drink wine and scroll TikTok and sleep when the mood hits me. I did this yesterday but he was so mad at me this morning when I wouldn’t get up at 7:30 to go watch our daughter stand up on a surfboard he bought her.

He asked me if I’d meet them for lunch and I said to have fun but I’m getting door dash. Now they are back and out of the blue they want to go to a baseball game tonight—I do not.

He actually told me that I’m missing all these “firsts” because I’m being selfish. Yes he’s more involved than most men at home but I need a break and I was up front that I did not see this as a family vacation. Am I the a*shole?

Yes, if this trip was intended to be a family trip then her behavior could be considered selfish, but she did warn her husband that she was in desperate need of a break, right?

Running two businesses and a home while attempting to still enjoy life and maintain relationships is enough to make anyone crave a full day in bed with food delivery and peace, but it seems like husband wasn't honest about his ideal plan for the trip.

Of course, the jury of internet strangers was eager to weigh in on this one. Here's what people had to say:

RNH213PDX said:

YTA (You're the As*hole) - if you didn't want to participate in a FAMILY vacation, scheduled around your daughters schools, no less, don't go on a FAMILY vacation. You realize that this is how your daughters are going to start forming an opinion of you - a 'mother' who would rather watch TikTok videos like a teenager than actually spend time with them. I am sure this 'family' vacation is going to come up at some point in your daughters' future but inevitable therapy session.

lightblue_sky said:

YTA, grabbing lunch with your family would be nice. I get not wanted to do every single activity, but simple things like lunch or first time on a surfboard! You can relax and still spend time with your children on vacation.

Excellent-Pressure89 said:

YTA. You can't go on a family vacation with the kids and make it a 'me' vacation. If you want a 'me' vacation, then take a 'me' vacation.

dcm510 said:

YTA. Why did you have a family if you clearly don’t want one? Whether you like it or not, you’re on a family vacation.

So, there you have it!

Everyone agreed fairly unanimously here that this mom is indeed being selfish and her husband is right to criticize her behavior. Next time she needs a full break to reset and clock out of reality, she should plan a trip alone or without her children. Good luck, everyone!