When this mom is weirded out by her daughter, she asks Reddit:
So I have a daughter who is 14. My husband is 41, and I am 38. My daughter, Courtney, is really into 'Y2K' style right now. It's more Bratz dolls, less real early 2000s fashion.
She receives a monthly allowance from us to have a little autonomy. Last week, she went to a thrift store with her older sister and bought the ugliest tie-dye mini skirt imaginable. It is brownish and honestly looks like she had a poop accident, as one of the 'stains' is around her bum area.
Yesterday she came down wearing that skirt. Her grandma said, 'Absolutely not, that is too short, go change.' My daughter started protesting and asked me about it. I said that the length was fine, but I did not want her to go out in something that makes her look like she had an accident.
My mother-in-law started shooting daggers at me after I said that. My daughter went upstairs and changed into a pair of shorts. While she was up, she told me that it was inappropriate what I let my daughter do and that I was mocking her by what I said.
Also, that I was showing her it is okay to be shallow and buy into trends. Honestly, I was not concerned until my husband came home, saying he agreed with his mother and he was not a fan of how I handled this.
I am very confused. She is wearing normal girls' stuff, not scandalous. It is normal. But my husband said it is stupid that I draw the line at 'ugly.' AITA?
NTA. Granny needs to keep her mouth shut. Parenting your daughter is your job. If she has concerns like the length of a skirt she should speak to you not your daughter. Your husband also needs to learn to back you up. You obviously have no issue with the skirt length just the pattern.
YTA. I've never understood why some parents think the right way to protect your kid from getting picked on is to pick on them yourself. Like FFS, when is it ever reasonable to tell someone their new thing they happily bought 'looks like you pooped yourself' like come on.
NTA. You handled it fine. I would have done more or less the same. I wouldn't have said that I didn't want her to go out in the outfit, but I would have pointed out that it looked like she had had an accident and left her to decide if she would still wear it.
I've always let my daughter choose what to wear - as long as it's clean, fits and is appropriate to the weather.
When she was little she would choose things that she liked without considering whether they go together (think polka dot top with a striped skirt and leggings with flowers - all in clashing colours).
As she has grown older, her sense of style has evolved, and at 14 she has the confidence to own her own unique style. I'm not in love with all of it, but she feels good and that is much more important.
Also - I would have serious words with MIL about interfering in something that is between your daughter and her parents.