When this mom feels guilty, she asks Reddit:
My son is naturally smart- he gets straight A’s and is on the honor roll, without any effort. I have noticed, however, as he gets older he seems to have sensory issues- he can’t stand anyone touching him, haircuts, cutting nails, etc.
At the orthodontist he had trouble getting through the preliminary stuff before braces(x rays, molds, etc) before he got braces put on. I should say here that they waited to put the braces on until my son could show them he was brushing properly. For about a year we went in for monthly checks until the Dr was satisfied.
I told the Dr about the sensory issues and he said it made sense to him. I also spoke to his GP and he thinks my son should be tested for the autism spectrum due to social issues mainly. I explained this to my son.
He didn’t seem to care. I gave him a few days to process it and discussed it again saying this isn’t going to go away. It makes sense to test for it and if he doesn’t have it, that’s great.
We had another appointment at the orthodontist, this time with a new Dr. They brought me to the back and explained that his braces would have to come off due to poor hygiene- he can’t seem to brush near the gum line, which is in line with sensory issues.
I explained to the new Dr about sensory issues and my son started yelling that I was lying and just wanted him to be a baby, or something like that. Everything stopped in the office- you could hear a pin drop and I was mortified. I didn’t say anything, just collected our things and left.
When we got into the car he was smug and and smirked at me, and even laughed when I told him how upset I was. That’s when I told him he could just go to hell. As a parent you sign up for sacrifices and I don’t expect a thank you, but I also don’t deserve to be abused, especially in public. AITA?
YTA I get that you were embarrassed, but this is a difficult situation for your son. Autism is a big label to process. He is not the first person who is in a situation where something is wrong, they know something is wrong, but getting the problem officially diagnosed is terrifying to them.
YTA. Massively. He clearly is Autistic and you are punishing him for it. The only treatment for Autism is having someone who is understanding. You have failed at this. Embarrassing a 17 YO young adult, in public, in front of others? Some sacrifice you have made. You are doing everything wrong, and in the wrong order.