'AITA for not adding a third bathroom to our house for our daughters?' UPDATED
"AITA for not adding a third bathroom to our house for our daughters?"
My husband, our daughters (18, 16, 16, 12), and I live in a 4 bed 2 bath house. All of the girls share a bathroom and they’ve been complaining about it for a while. We’ve been saying we’ll convert the laundry room into a bathroom for the twins for a while. It’s an expensive project so we’ve never gotten to it.
My husband and I started working on our garage recently and turned it into a gym for him, a new laundry room, and an office for me. Then we came into some money and decided to renovate both bathrooms, remodel the kitchen, and do work on the backyard.
The girls were pi$#ed when we told them about the work we were doing on the house. They were saying it’s not fair that my husband gets a gym when the twins share a room and that we chose to work on the backyard instead of adding the third bathroom.
They’ve been calling us selfish and even got our parents and siblings to give us a hard time for not giving the girls another bathroom or giving the twins their own rooms.
They don’t understand that now that the laundry room is done we have the space for the bathroom. The bathroom is next on our list. We had hookups in the garage but it was cold and dark and it would’ve been horrible to do laundry there.
I wanted to get some outside opinions on this since our kids and our families have been giving us a hard time.
Info from OP:
18 year old is not moving out anytime soon. We’re in a very high cost of living area and she’s in community college, then she’s transferring to a state school 10 minutes away from us. Then she’ll start working and stay with us while she saves for a place.
Let's see what readers thought.
swishystardust writes:
YTA. Does going without a home gym diminish quality of life? No. Does forcing four humans to share one source of plumbing diminish quality of life? Yes. YTA for springing for a luxury instead of choosing to make life easier for your kids.
Editing because I keep getting the same comment over and over of people saying something along the lines of "HOW DARE YOU! I live in a house of 6/9/12 and we share 1/2/a fraction of a bathroom! You are spoiled and icky!", and I'm really tired of penning the same response over and over, so I'll just say here:
I grew up the youngest of five. I shared a bathroom for eighteen years with siblings. I share an apartment with a few folks, and we share one bathroom. My point is that, if I had a bunch of money lying around, I'd spend it to make the lives of my kids a bit easier, rather than on something frivolous.
For all of you crying out "ENTITLEMENT AND LUXURY! UGH!" Please take the time, whilst you redden your faces in rage at the prospect of two people sharing a bathroom instead of four, to also take your energy to defend OP's choice to redo the existing bathrooms, redo her kitchen, add a new gym, and redesign her backyard.
You all like to skate over the fact that OP lied to her kids about a new bathroom, and has presumably been doing so for a while. Hopefully that hits anything that anybody else who wants to hop on and complain into the internet void could possibly care about.
scorchisong writes:
YTA. Two bathrooms between six people, one of which has to be shared between four people, another one should have been priority and was on the cards. You didn't do it because it was expensive, but managed to renovate the garage and when you came into money decided newer projects were more important.
That you converted part of the garage into a laundry space indicates the space you were already using for laundry before then was open for another bathroom, a project that would have served a far more practical value than work on the backyard.
repulsiveplate writes:
YTA for having so many kids that you won’t, not can’t, accommodate for while putting in an office and gym and already doing renovations. I hope you get the shits and both bathrooms are taken.
I totally skimmed and missed the fact that you are also choosing to make 2 teenage girls give up their privacy so you can have more luxurious shit you don’t need.
They have urges and needs that obviously can’t be done in the bathroom, on top of the fact that they can’t have friends or partners over without bothering each other. They don’t even have privacy to watch tv or take phone calls. This is all so ridiculous and you’re too selfish to have kids.
twofrogcoat writes:
YTA. Look, the bathroom/sharing rooms isn’t the real issue here. The problem is that your daughters brought a complaint to you, you told them you’d solve it when you could, and then they watched you make the house more comfortable for yourself instead.
You “came up with more money” for extra renovations instead of following through on your word. It shows your kids that their comfort takes a backseat to your wants in your family.
OP then offers this update:
I won’t say the prices but the garage was a big job, practically tore the whole thing down and rebuilt it, even extended it a little. Kitchen was the same. We demolished the whole thing, pushed it back into the backyard, and rebuilt it.
My bathroom was also a big one. The girls bathroom got double sinks and new paint. The backyard was landscaped, my husband got an area to build a chicken coop and got some chickens, I got a garden, the family got a fire pit, and we built a deck.