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Man paid daughters' college tuition, but won't pay for niece's whom he's guardian of.

Man paid daughters' college tuition, but won't pay for niece's whom he's guardian of.


In a post on Reddit, a man asked for advice after telling his neice he can't afford to pay her college tuition. He obviously doesn't owe her this, but should he have planned for it? Here's his story...

I (45M) am a father of 3 (25M) , (21M) and (18F) but I also take care of my niece (17F) after her father passed away.

My wife (45F) and I have always treated her like family and we give her things equally to the others so that she doesn't feel left out.

I honestly really care about her but financially I can't support her all my life. When my eldest moved away I had more money to spare so I was able to get her more things.

My daughter is now going away to college so my neice was excited and came to my wife and I about colleges she liked.

I told her it was great she was thinking of college and I said it would be good for to apply for scholarships now so it would be easier later. She laughed and asked why when her tuition would be payed for.

I told her that no I wouldn't, I only had money to pay for my kids but I would help her out with basic necessities. She was silent after that then went to her room.

Apparently she spoke to my father because he called me in a rage and said I was being cruel to her especially since my brother was always close to me when he was alive. I told him I just didn't have that type of money saved and he said if I had cared for her I would've started saving as soon as I took her in.

My brother died very young so he didn't have much saved and my niece's mother's side isn't offering anything. I admit I could've told her earlier that I wouldn't pay for her tuition but I didn't. AITA?

From the comments:

DPRRJM asks:

Info: If your dad is so furious, why isn’t he offering to pay for her college?


He's retired so unless he sells apart of his property I doubt he has that kind of cash up front

JerryVand asks:

INFO: did you adopt your niece? Are you going to be financially responsible for college costs on the FAFSA financial aid application? You need to understand how her situation fits with the financial aid process. It doesn't sound like you have any sense of her financial aid needs.


I didn't adopt her but I'm her legal guardian

NomNom83WasTaken says:


'I also take care of my niece' -- do you mean 'raising her' b/c this isn't babysitting or some stray you took in

'always treated her like family' -- she IS family

'give her things equally to the others' -- well, apparently, no you aren't

I don't understand how this is just now coming up. You're telling me you have never had a discussion with this child about her future? What were you planning to do when she turned 18 if she didn't leave for college?

OLAZ3000 says:


Six years isn't enough to save for an education. That said, you are underplaying that you will help with expenses. That's a huge deal.

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