When this woman is fed up with her sister, she asks Reddit:
I (24F) am currently 23 weeks pregnant. Before people ask, no it wasn't a planned pregnancy but me and my boyfriend have a house, stable income, etc and we are fully prepared for our baby.
We have been planning to do a small gender reveal for a while with close family and friends but we were waiting for my sister (22F) to get back from her month-long holiday in the US.
We have had everything planned to make it a fun celebration for us - especially because I have struggled with my mental health since I was a teenager and we want to turn the pregnancy into a positive thing for me.
My parents are pretty well off and as a graduating present for my sister they gave her a couple of thousand pounds to spend on a holiday (they did the same for me - I went backpacking around Europe with my friends).
She is very spiritual and is vegan, which I have always been more than happy to cater for. She spent the money on a yoga retreat in California. We scheduled the party for a week afterwards so she could make it and for the food my mum and my BF's dad did a BBQ in the garden.
A few of my friends are vegetarian so we had a separate cooker going with vegan hotdogs and burgers. We had a big gender reveal cake so I bought my sister a pack of vegan cupcakes I found, all of which my sister OK'd before she left.
When she came back from her yoga retreat I didn't hear much from her (jet lag lol) but two days before the party she messaged me asking about the vegan options.
I sent her a photo of the food she previously agreed and their ingredients and she messaged back saying that she has a new diet she was introduced to at her retreat. I'm not sure of all the details but she no longer eats processed food and only eats from organic companies or from scratch.
I was a bit annoyed at the short notice but I asked what kind of stuff I could get her instead since I didn't want to leave her out. She sent me a few pictures of food I could get her in our local food shop and I went to check them out that afternoon.
They were really expensive (£35 for vegetable crisps, burgers, oat cookies!) and we've already spent hundreds of pounds on the party, so I sent her a polite apologetic message saying that I wouldn't be able to buy her the food she requested because it was out of our budget but I told her she was more than welcome to bring her own food to the party.
She messaged me back calling me rude names, saying i'm selfish and saying that I'm a terrible sister for not including her 'dietary needs'.
This set off my angry pregnancy hormones lol and I messaged her back saying that her new diet isn't my problem and she should accept the food she already advised me to buy for her (in hindsight it I know it sounds rude and I feel terrible).
She didn't come to the party which upset me a lot as we've always been close. We had a great time (we're having a baby girl!!!) but I feel like I'm an AH for not including her. AITA?
kettlewise makes this interesting point:
NTA. But I’d be concerned and keep an eye out for orthorexia.
It’s fine she’s changed her diet - but giving you two days warning that she will refuse to eat what she already approved and expects you to spend more money on a new meal for her is an asshole move imo.
One afternoon of processed food isn’t going to be a big deal, or she could have brought her own meal instead of demanding the host scramble.
Congrats on your baby girl! Wishing you a healthy pregnancy and birth!
NTA. Firstly, she CHOSE that diet after being introduced to it while away. Secondly, since she had approved of the vegan options you sent her while she was away, why didn’t she say anything about her new diet then?
Thirdly, YOU’RE the one who’s having a baby and YOU’RE the one who’s spending all the money and hosting an event related to your baby.
For her to just suddenly remember that you have changed your diet (again) and inform you last minute and not be happy that you can’t accommodate (after doing your best to make sure you did), she’s the one throwing a tantrum It’s not uncommon for people to bring their own meals when they have dietary restrictions or choices.
She could easily have done that.
EDIT: I just realized it was all approved before she left, but if it was that important, she should have tried to let you know right away. Regardless. That stuff is expensive so if you’re not able to accommodate, she should be understanding and flexible.