Is it wrong to hang a photo from when my friend was pregnant if she lost the baby?
When this woman is torn about a photo, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for including a group picture on my photo wall, in which a friend is pregnant with her stillborn child?'
I recently put up a photo wall in my hallway. I used a tile style, with 30 pictures in total. I plan to get more, eventually covering the entire wall. They are arranged in a grid, with no photo standing out more than the others.
My husband and I selected the pictures together, and really tried to get at least one shot with each of our friends. It's an informal photo wall, so quite a few pictures from parties, etc.
We have a friend, who I'll call Laura. Two years ago, she and her boyfriend got pregnant. We were all very excited, as it was going to be the first baby in the friend group. Unfortunately, her child was stillborn.
Laura has really struggled with this. We've done our best to support her. It has been difficult. I think it was hard for her because another friend was pregnant at the same time and has since had a healthy child.
Laura has interacted with this child, held her, etc. It's been a year and a half since her stillbirth. She is now pregnant again.
There is one particular group shot that my husband and I both LOVE, but Laura is visibly pregnant. AITA if I put this picture up? I have no idea what Laura wants. I've tried asking what she needs from me/us but it's been very confusing.
She'll say no one asks about her stillborn baby, despite the fact that I do and I was the only person in our friend group who asked to see photos of the baby. The others just weren't comfortable or weren't sure if she was comfortable.
I've sent her messages around special/sensitive dates, only to endure a vent a few days later about how no one ever asks about her baby. I feel like nothing I do is right or enough....
This particular picture is from my husband's birthday, where we turned our basement into a 'beach' and had everyone come dressed in beach attire. It's a hilarious photo, the dog even has a life jacket on, but you can clearly see Laura and she is holding her pregnant stomach....
Is it insensitive for me to put the photo up? Is it wrong to put it up, knowing that she will inevitably see it? Am I the asshole?
Well, let's find out.
sweetpersimmon49 writes:
NTA. It’s your home. Put up whatever pictures you want.
realtalkfastwalk says:
NAH. She might actually love it because it is a tangible reminder that you remember her baby was real and didn’t just disappear from everyone’s memory.
Maybe show her the pic, tell her you plan to hang it and remember the good times even though they’ll always be bittersweet with the sorrow that followed, and ask her if she wants a copy of the pic as well.