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Pregnant woman shames SIL's parenting after nephew's 'bad' interaction with her belly. AITA?

Pregnant woman shames SIL's parenting after nephew's 'bad' interaction with her belly. AITA?

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When this pregnant woman is furious with her younger SIL and brother's parenting, she asks Reddit:

"AITA for getting into an argument with my SIL about her child's interaction with my pregnant belly?"

I (f27) and my husband (m30) have been together for seven years and are currently expecting. I am 27 weeks pregnant and at the time of this event I was 25 weeks.

The other important people to this situation are my younger brother (m23), his gf (f23) and their child (m6). They are young parents obviously, and had their baby when they were still in high school.

As I mentioned I am 27 weeks pregnant and my doctor has told me I have a high risk pregnancy, due to placenta previa. Feel free to google if you’d like. Because of condition I have no choice but to have a scheduled c section when it’s time, and when I found out this was really upsetting news.

I always planned on a natural birth so it just kind of hit me hard. However above all else I want my baby to be healthy (and me) so it is what it is. My other SIL (my husbands sister, Carrie) has been really supportive of me and my pregnancy and we talk a lot.

Well recently there was a family gathering and of course my husband and I went. I was sitting with Carrie, talking about work when my brother’s kid comes over. He’s just six like I said, and he was really interested in my belly.

He asked me why I was fat lol and he kept reaching towards my bump. I grabbed my nephews hands and explained to him that I have a baby in my tummy and that pretty soon he’s gonna have a baby cousin, and it’s okay to touch my bump but just be gentle (especially so because of my previa, I’m supposed to be on bed rest but obviously I didn’t tell this child this). This little shit (not exaggerating he’s also just horrible) reaches and touches my belly before winding back and punching me. Holy shit that little kid had some power.

Immediately Carrie and I scold him and remind him that one, he needs to keep his hands to himself and two, it was very mean and dangerous to hit my belly. He apologized and then ran off.

A few minutes later his mother, my brothers gf, comes up to me and asks me what I told her son. I explained what happened, exactly how it happened. She told me that her son was upset because I “yelled” at him.

My internal dialogue was that yeah, I bet he is, because he never gets disciplined in general. He’s a spoiled child and his parents let him do whatever he wants. But externally, I apologized for it but reminded her that he needed to not hit my tummy, or in general. She rolled her eyes and just walked away.

About an hour later my husband and I are getting ready to go so I stood up and went to tell my brother goodbye. He was standing with his son, and as soon as I was in arms reach of him, the kid reached out and smacked me in my stomach again. Hard. I doubled over that time and my husband immediately started to scold the child while making sure I was okay.

My brothers gf started to lose her mind about us “parenting” her kid for her, resulting in my husband getting loud with her about how the kid is a brat and needed it. In turn, my brother and husband had quite a large argument that most of our family witnessed.

And now half of my family is mad at her, and the other half is mad at me. I understand that my husband probably didn’t handle it the best, but the child was literally hitting me. I feel like I’m not TA but I’m open to hearing the other side. Thanks. AITA?

Let's see what readers thought.

justpeachyxo writes:

Absolutely NTA. Lucky that kid didn’t get smacked back just out of pure instinct…especially after hitting you TWICE?! I don’t condone hitting kids AT ALL but man it would’ve taken me a moment to hold back from smacking that little boy.

(obviously he’s 6 so he’s learning but I would’ve felt some type of way for sure aha) ; kudos to your patience you truly will make a great mother! But seriously someone needs to teach this kid the importance of keeping their hands to themselves if they cannot be gentle.

Also red flag for a young six year old boy to not be gentle, I’d hate to see how he behaves toward animals. This was beyond not okay and behaviour I think the parents need to nip in the bud asap!

emotionalpilot811 writes:

NTA. This child has no boundaries. The parents are being neglectful by letting their child physically attack and potentially harm an unborn baby. What’s worse is that this happened twice. He deliberately hit your belly after you told him to be careful.

We are not talking about a 2 year old. This child is SIX. Someone needs to be disciplining the child. He’s testing his boundaries because he has none.

You and your husband have every right to tell a child to stop physically hurting someone. Perhaps your husband yelled too loud or used explicit language. However, the parents still have taken no responsibility for their child’s actions.

During the next family get together, set clear boundaries with the child (again). If the parents do not enforce them, then let the family know you’ll be leaving, as you will not tolerate mistreatment.

buttercupbride writes:

NTA - I feel like you've been finnegaled into allowing your brother, his gf, and the kid to get away with things before or you did so to keep the peace.

It's reached a dangerous point now and you responded accordingly and you need to stand your ground.

I feel like he's already jealous of the baby and understood what you said after he hit you the first time and that's why he hit you the second time. He wants it to hurt and cause problems.

If it's not stopped now it'll linger and the baby will be assaulted by him as well. Then if he's not stopped his behaviors could reign over their entire childhoods.

mozarella8 writes:

NTA; That kid clearly hasn't been taught not to hit people, or taught anything honestly. Especially if she had the nerve to rebuke you, despite your justified reaction.

It only enables and validates the child's behavior, letting him think it's OK. I understand she's just trying to defend her kid, but that doesn't mean either of them are right. If that child was actually being raised properly, this wouldn't have been an issue.

I also understand they're young parents and first time parents hardly ever know what they're doing, but I still see it as immaturity on her part. It highlights a deficiency in her understanding of basic principles.

I've been raised to never hit a woman for as long as I can remember. It's surprising to hear she hasn't already drilled that into his head. She should've been thanking you for doing what she seemingly can't, if not at least apologizing again on his behalf.

That being said, I hope this incident doesn't affect your child's arrival and everything goes well, and congratulations!

Looks like OP is NTA. Any advice for her?

Sources: Reddit
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