Pregnant woman shocked when SIL treats her like a 'straight up servant.'
When this woman is furious with her SIL, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for refusing to cook at my SILs because I'm the guest in the house?'
My husband, myself and our 2 sons went to visit SIL for the 4 nights. We do this once a year (we live in separate states) and usually other family members come as well but this year it's just us. I'm 32 weeks pregnant so the travel was a bit rough on me anyways (we drove because I can't fly and it's 21 hours).
Well, SIL had to work for 3 of the days that we were there and on those days, she would come home at 4pm, look at me and say 'so what are you cooking tonight?'
The first two times she said it I just laughed it off and so did she so I thought she was joking but she apparently wasn't (we purchased food everytime we come here as well- so we spent $300 on food for our stay).
And for context, the guys were out fishing and stuff so they weren't home to cook or my husband absolutely would have (he loves grilling). The 3rd time she asked I just didn't say anything or laugh because it was getting kind of old. But she then looks at me and says 'it's the least you can do considering I worked all day while you sat here doing nothing'.
Which is utter BS because I was left at the house with her kids AND my kids all day because this was a shift she picked up after we got here and her husband/my husband had already left for the day before she took off for her random shift that she didn't tell anyone about.
I tell her at this point that I had taken care of 7 kids all day, at 32 weeks pregnant, when I'm supposed to be a guest in her home and shouldn't be made to do anything anyways. I made this comment because she asked me to do a load of her laundry and do up the dishes when she was at work; which I did, no question.
She just got irritated with me and walked off, mumbling under her breath, so I took my kids and left to go get take out for us and texted my husband giving him the rundown.
He immediately came back home and was playing mediator but told his sister that she shouldn't have expected me to pick up house chores, babysit and cook dinner when I'm pregnant and a guest here.
Needless to say we left a day early. But people are saying I'm ridiculous because it 'wasn't a big deal' and that I should have just cooked for the 11 people in the house because SIL worked.since there a lot of assumptions here about the men that I refuse to tolerate: the men fish every day we are here.
When they get home and after we eat (around 4pm) all the ladies take off and do whatever we want while the men stay home with the kids and have fires, s'mores, movies, snacks and bedtime around 10-11, depending on the activity that night.
It's equally split. Also, I have 2 kids. She has 5. I don't need to 'slow down on having kids because 7 for one person is too much'. She picked up these shifts. She was supposed to have the entire 4 days off. She never ran it by anyone until after the guys had already left for the day and generally speaking, the guys don't have service where they go fishing.
So I had already cooked for 8 people (all the kids and myself) twice during those 3 days, as well as did laundry and dishes. More than enough for a guest that was invited to your home under the false pretense of a 'vacation'. AITA?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
throwszz writes:
NTA. LOL to the people saying you are ridiculous and it wasn't a big deal. Excuse me? SIL was a Huge AH. It's also extremely rude to pick up extra work shifts while you have visiting guests who drove 21 hours to visit AND expect them to babysit their kids, plus cook and clean. What kind of bs is that??!!
excitingtabetop writes:
Yep, OP needs to have husband deal with this. Husband needs to explain to SIL's husband and SIL that the next time SIL treats his wife like a house servant, they're walking out the front door and all future family get-togethers are explicitly without SIL.
This wasn't about cooking a meal. This was about babysitting, cleaning, cooking, etc. Basically a full staff servant. That'd be insulting for anyone on vacation, let alone while pregnant.
That OP only cracked on Day 3 is amazing. I'd have been furious on Day 1 unless it was a major medical emergency, and told her to make other plans for Day 2.
mary707 writes:
Esh. When I stay at my brother’s house, I always help with household chores. My brother and SIL are excellent cooks and go out of their way to make something amazing, so I always take on the clean up because the cook don’t clean. I’ll then sweep the floor and feed the cats.
When the kids were young, I would drive 4 hours with my young son to their house for the weekend to babysit their 3 because they did not leave their kids with sitters. Instead of laughing off the what’s for dinner question the first night, the two of you could have talked like adults and made a game plan for the rest of the visit.
“Im watching the kids and pregnant, but if you are going to work and the guys are going fishing, can I put something in the crockpot and then we can just throw together a salad when you get home? I’ll text the guys and have them bring home some crusty bread.”