When this husband is concerned, he asks Reddit:
Me (38M) and my wife Alexis (32F) have 3 children together. Dan (12M), Hope and Joy (8F). Alexis is a bit peculiar as a person, she’s very into oddities, fairytales and mythology, witchy things and such.
I love her with my entire soul and could hear about her interests for hours, but that doesn’t really mean i share them, i just love to hear her talk passionately about her things i am simply a non-believer.
One of the many things that she’s always done is “protect” our family, so she has special rocks or gems in their rooms and all windows of the house, she sages the house every so often, etc.
I use quotation marks because I don't know the proper term for what she’s doing, not because I do not find importance in it. It brings her peace and tranquility and that’s all that matters to me.
She has always shared her interests with our children and ever since they were little she has taught them things to “protect” themselves, like she has taught them not to give out their names and to never invite someone into the house with direct words among other things and rituals.
This means that our children are a bit peculiar as well but they’re great kids, they do good in their activities and are respectful and empathetic so I don't see any harm in it. which brings us to what happened.
My mother had her birthday party recently, which coincided with her introducing her new boyfriend Tony (60’s African American (relevant)) to the family.
The kids were with them while we were cooking and Tony stormed into the kitchen saying that our children were “disrespectful and downright racist” which is very surprising because they’re not.
When asked Dan said that Tony told them “can i have your names” because he was writing placeholders for the table and it made the twins freak out.
From what I understand it’s a big deal when phrased like that because the fae can steal your name or something along those lines, and then joy had told him that they would not talk to the likes of him and they had run away.
My wife explained it to him that it was a misunderstanding. My mom told us that it was our fault our children were hurtful to others and that my wife shouldn't impose silly superstitions on them that could end up in situations much worse than this one, like if they were pulled over by a cop.
Alexis says that as they age they will learn the proper terminology to use to phrase what they were trying to convey but i cannot help think that perhaps she’s been laying it too heavy and that it will cause them to be ostracized later in life (like Alexis often was in her youth). AITA?
NTA. NAH. It was a cultural misunderstanding. It happens. Tony phrased it poorly, and your twins reacted poorly. Both parties should apologize to the other.
Well, maybe the grandmother is the AH. It isn't some 'silly superstitions,' to a lot of us they hold important religious and cultural significance.
YTA, she’s allowed to share her beliefs and thoughts with her children too. She was explaining why they said what they did.
They are 8, yes sometimes kids won’t know how to convey what they want to say especially when it comes to pagan/Wiccan rituals or beliefs.The kid probably thought he was a fae trying to trick them. Later in life the boring kids who would pick on them will want their help.
NTA. My mother raised me with some of those beliefs but let me choose when growing up, I decided to continue with some of them, let the children believe in fantastic things but with the reminder that it can be real or not.
I am a believer in 'Everything can exist, everything can happen, maybe yes, maybe not'
Most have had faith in something that may not exist (nserte religion here) is the same, something you do not see, something of which there are beliefs, continue to feed the imagination of children in that way, they usually grow up with a beautiful respect and love for nature.