SAHM wants two weeks away in Hawaii from husband and kids. AITA?
When this SAHM is desperate for a vacay, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for wanting time away from my husband and kids?"
Context: I 28F am a sahm while my husband 30M works a 9-5 job 6 days a week. Our kids are 7M and 5F. Now on to the main issue. It's been awhile since I've spent any time with my friends.
I miss going to clubs, partying and just living my life the I want to in general. I am aware of the fact that the situation changes when you have kids, but I feel like everyone deserves some off time once in awhile. Between the kids and my husband, I've hardly had any time to myself.
All this got me thinking of planning a getaway to Hawaii with my friend group sometime in the next months. Quite a few of them are down for it, and since those who agreed can afford the trip too, we decided to go ahead with our plans. We mutually decided to make it a 2 week long trip.
Now, my husband had a pretty bad reaction when I told him about our plans. He called me selfish for taking 2 weeks off when 'I haven't had a single day for myself in months.' I told him no one's stopping him from doing so, had he planned any such vacation with his guy friends, I would never have interfered.
He laughed in my face and reminded me of the time when he actually had done so, but I told him not to go since it wasn't fair to me. I was pretty annoyed at that point and reminded him the reason why I had refused.
Our son was down with a cold and I felt like it would be better for my husband to be there as well, as it's his time to take care of the kids when he's home, and taking care of a sick child for 3 whole days wasn't something I thought I could or should have to do when he has a father as well.
He told me that it would be impossible for him to take care of the kids for 2 whole weeks on his own on top of his job, and I was being a 'hypocrite' when it came to myself.
I felt like he was blowing things way out of proportion and was being too controlling, so I told him I planned to take this trip regardless of what he feels about it, since I too deserve a break from him and the kids once in awhile.
However, when I told one of my friends about our argument, she called me an asshole for dissmissing my husband's feelings like that, and maybe I should just postpone the trip to a time when he feels comfortable enough for me to go. So reddit, aita?
Let's see what readers thought.
misplacedfan writes:
YTA. This is a huge thing to just spring on someone with no warning. You are supposed to be a team, and you need to COMMUNICATE. If you feel overworked, fine, but you need to be an adult and talk about it with your husband. This is going to cause a ton of stress on your whole household, your children included.
ginnydoro writes:
ESH to everyone. 2 weeks is a long time to be gone when you have never been gone before. You start with like a long weekend and build it from there. Go back and change the plans some and figure it out better.
Yea he’s their dad and can provide the right support for the kids. But he also does have work 6 days a week. Whose doing the school runs and after school sports Uber rides?
Whose making sure they have what they need each day for school and fed. Is he just taking 2 weeks leave for this period of time? There needed to be better planning for this to be appropriate.
toomanykids writes:
YTA, and I feel like I’m in the wrong tax bracket. TWO WEEKS IN HAWAII?! Without your husband and kids?!
Several things: Your husband is working 6 days a week to provide for your family. He deserves a break, too. And a child having a cold is no reason to make him cancel his plans, IMO. Yes, taking care of kids and a house is hard work. I’m a SAHM and I get it.
You deserve a break, but a two week beach vacation alone with the girls is a bit much when you have young kids and a husband working nonstop. Especially on short notice and without having all of your daily responsibilities covered. When was the last time you took a vacation alone with your husband? As a family?