Single mom doesn't want to support her adult 'deadbeat' children. AITA?
When this mom is upset with her kids, she asks Reddit:
"AITA because I don't want to keep supporting my adult kids who make bad decisions?"
I am a single mom to 4 kids aged 28, 22, 18 and 17. My oldest got a girl pregnant when he was 18 which resulted in a child(F10).
I'm not going to go into details about our relationship however I kust say that my son was nc with me for the last 10 years because I chose not to support his decision to keep the baby and run his own life. He was a very smart boy who was going to become a lawyer but now he is just a chef because he couldn't go to college.
We tried to fix our relationship a few months ago I met the kid for the first time and she was extremely rude and spoiled, I didn't approve of his parenting which resulted in him going NC again however it turns out I have been supporting him al along.
You see my youngest kids still lived at home and I financially supported them so they could focus on their studies but for some unknown reason they insisted on having part time jobs.
Now I know why, they have been giving most of their money to my oldest. My oldest has a job and can take care of himself and his daughter but my younger kids have been spoiling her by giving her unnecessary things like new phones or helping him put her in a better school.
When I found out I was fuming and told them I'm done supporting them. They went behind my back and used me for my money. This resulted in a fight and my 22 and 18 yo moved in with my oldest. Am I wrong for not wanting to keep supporting them, it's kind of deadbeat of them, when they used me like that?
Let's see what readers thought.
fairmount955 writes:
YTA. "helping him put her in a better school." - like, wow. You're mad your *grandchild* is able to go to a better school?! I mean, I get why your kid went NC and I'm sure the rest of your kids will follow suit if this is how you are as a person and parent. Looks like OP is NTA. What do YOU think?
nezbi0 writes:
Big YTA. First, “Just a chef” is highly regarded as discrimination. Stop from saying these type of things now or never. If you keep on saying this elsewhere then you will get serious consequences from your action. What you have said is equal to chefs are stupid and mothers like you are not suppose to say that.
Second, your oldest are 28, she has a job with her 10 years old daughter. She’s legally mature and you are her grandma. You have no responsibility about take care of her as her legal parents are your son and her husband and they are persons who decide to receive advices or helpings by themselves.
evamohn78 writes:
YTA, because I went through your comments and wow, what a mess. You clearly said in the story your kids had part time jobs, so to claim they used your money is ridiculous.
Yes, you supported them as a parent, except your other kid, who became a chef, but you're mad for no reason, other than he didn't become what YOU wanted him to be. This shows to me your son didn't opt out of being a parent, he raised his kid and is working.