Woman asks if she'd be wrong to tell stepdaughter her dad put a tracker on her car.
Wanting to take care of your kids and make sure they're safe is a noble thing, but is it ever OK to track someone without their knowledge? Maybe up to a certain age? What are the rules here? Take a look at this story and let us know your thoughts.
I f36 have been married to my husband for 3 years. He has one daughter 'Christine,' she'll soon be 18 years old and he's bought her a new car as her birthday gift.
Here's the thing. Christine's mom is deceased. She has a good relationship with me. In fact, not too long ago she told me I was like a second mom to her. This of course means everything to me.
However, She and her dad don't get along that much. I havd to say that's he's incredibly overprotective of her but has done things that affected their relationship. Like how he caused her to break up with her ex boyfriend after he got diagnosed with a multiple health conditions.
Because of that, Christine has grown distant from her dad. For her 18th birthday he wanted to throw her a big celebration and buy her the car she always wanted as a way to reconcile with her. They're on ok terms now but he says he wants to gain back her trust.
2 days ago, I overheard him speaking with a friend of his about installing a tracking device in the new car. I was stunned. I brought up with him later at night and told him how wrong this was. He said it was none of my business but I told him that if and when Christind finds out then there's gonna be troubles.
He got upset and went on about how he's just doing this out of concern and protection gor her and said it was none of my business whatsoever since I didn't buy the car. I called him unreasonable and said that if he don't back off then I'll tell her at the party and when be hands her the key.
He was shocked at this, he called me crazy and said that I shouldn't have been snooping and listening to his private talks in the first place. I said I'd tell her but he told me to stay out of it since it's his daughter not mine and that if I wanted to parent my way then I was free to have my own children.
'This stung because he knows I can't have kids due to infertility problems.'
We argued about it and I said I'd still tell her. He called me unhinged and said I get no say nor do I have the right to get involved whatsoever. Just stay of it he kept repeating.
I consulted my mom and she agreed it was none of my business. She told me to stay out of it and not try to stir drama and cause scenes. She said I should know better and stay on my husband's side since stepkids are always flippant. I'm torn on this but I'm still insisting on it.
Here's what people had to say in the comments.
A few had YTA, with this rationale:
Yta, and really just for one reason. If something happens to his daughter and you and her had the tracker removed, how are you going to feel? As a dad I keep a tracker on my daughter's phone, I hardly ever look at it unless she's running late
But most people were NTA, with this rationale:
NTA CHECK YOUR CAR AND DEVICES FOR TRACKERS/SPYWARE! If he’s doing it to her on the sly he may have/ probably has done the same to you. It’s insanely creepy, violating and even more concerning is his ‘keep your mouth shut’ type reaction.
Don’t walk. Run. ETA he actually brought up your infertility issues to win this ‘argument’?! RUN!!!
NTA - '...and said I shouldn't have been snooping and listening to his private talks...' Said the man to you who just installed a tracking device on his 18 year old's car. She is legally an adult and should not be tracked without her knowledge.
NTA. Anyone trying to present this to you as a father-daughter conflict is off-base here. This is a man who is doubling down on his loss of control over a grown woman fed up with not being able to make her own choices by making it clear he will never allow her to live her life without his approval.
What would you do if Christine were a friend in a relationship with a man like this, and not your stepdaughter? What would you want her to do for you?
YTA if you tell her at the party and ruin her big day. Tell her the day after.
So that's it. Where do you stand? Better safe than sorry? Just being a protective parent? Breaking the law? Controlling psychopath? Who's the AH?