When this stepmom feels annoyed with her 23yr old stepson, she asks Reddit:
My husband and I have been married for 10 yrs. At the time his sons were ages 3 and 13. While I have a daughter with special needs that was 18. We all live in a house I inherited after my husband and I got married. My stepsons being now 13 and 23 to say its been a journey is a understatement lol. I love them.
Yes they drive me nuts and to know the true meaning of being "Boy Mom" is crazy. I love them like my own, I defend them like my own, raise them like my own.
My oldest stepson and I honestly bump heads and when we do its a blow up. I honestly believe its because we're more alike than he would like to agree on just based on our relationships between our other parent.
Me and my dad versus him and his mom. I can be honest and say I've had to make changes in how I communicate with men. I started working in this before I met my husband. I'm a reformed man eater in training.
My stepson a great kid! Smart, funny, protective of his family and hardworking. He's a great person however his communcation skills like my own needs some work.
When he expresses his feelings when he gets angry for whatever the reason he gets to a point to where he doesn't hear what you're saying. He acts like people are just ganging up on him. He becomes mad aggressive and disrespectful which if I don't watch myself triggers the FUDGE out of me.
If you try to pin a conversation until cooler heads prevail he wants to push the conversation forward causing more chaos. Its like battling with my Dad ALL OVER AGAIN AND in my house. Just to give an example an agruement sparked between he and I. Something stupid at this point that I don't even remember why.
I asked to pin this conversation he says no. We're in MY ROOM when this sparks off.
I ask him several TIMES to leave my ROOM and he says NO. Like WTF! I have PTSD from a previous DV relationship so this was triggering as hell for me!
My husband and I have talked to him about his communcation and how he expresses himself but he always makes it like we're out for him.
I love him but I can't continue having these experiences with him. Its too much and very draining mentally.
Does he reserve the disrespect and aggression to you? Or other women who deny him? Does he leave his dad alone? Is he a fanboy of the manosphere? He is prime age for buying into Andrew Tate garbage.
My only advice is to go brown paper bag on him. Low, slow, monosyllabic, repeat responses. Talk softly. Gentle reprimands. Don’t feed the energy. He will get irritated, but eventually his body will regulate the emotion.
NTA. It's your house, so you can choose who stays and who goes. A grown man who doesn't understand the word "No" should go.
Give him an eviction notice NTA.