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Student pretends he 'didn't know he was adopted' to embarrass his teacher. AITA?

Student pretends he 'didn't know he was adopted' to embarrass his teacher. AITA?

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When this young man plays a dark prank on his teacher, he asks Reddit:

"AITA for pretending "I didn’t know I was adopted" to make my teacher embarrassed?"

Ok so I’m in high school and this was in my english class. Our real teacher is on paternity leave and we have a long term substitute.

So yesterday she was telling us she wants us to write personal memoirs about something very important in our lives, and she goes about listing various examples for different students. She told me I could write about being adopted and how I felt when my parents told me.\

Now I must have made a face then, because I’m not adopted. I have two dads but they had me through surrogacy. So technically there was a legal adoption for my non-bio dad, but one of my dads is my bio dad, and my bio “mom” is my other dads sister who donated her egg and carried me.

I think it would be a stretch to call me adopted, also the sub has no basis to even know any of this because as much as I’ve written in class is just that I have two dads.

Anyway, she’s kinda old school and doesn’t like when we talk too loud (which to her is talking at a normal indoor level on group assignments), make any normal faces, and whatever.

She basically called me out on making a face and was like “OP if you don’t want to write about being adopted you can choose another important topic to your life, maybe how you help your dad at home?”

(one of my dads has cerebral palsy and is mostly blind from optic neuropathy, I did write briefly about that in the intro assignment with our other teacher so he must have left them with her to get to know the class).

I was confused so I said “I’m not adopted.” She just put her hand over her heart and goes “oh, honey.”

So now my brain which was lagging caught up and I realize she’s only thinking I’m adopted because I have two dads. So at this point I’m like whatever, I’ll just play into it, so I look upset and I’m like “I didn’t know I was adopted!”

She’s kind of panicking a bit and telling everyone to just start writing something. A lot of my friends are laughing under their breath because they know I’m not adopted so she’s telling everyone quiet down and it’s not funny and to get to work. I’m like “what do you mean I’m adopted?”

She’s trying to tell me not to worry about it and just ask my dads when I get home. And I’m like “how can I be adopted?”

So she just sends me to the school counselor, and I told her this story basically and she basically gave off the vibe that it was a shi&y thing to mess with the sub that way and I could have just explained I’m not adopted because now I’ve made her worry unnecessarily and embarrassed her.

I don’t think parts of my life are up to her to decide what I want to share or not, and I feel like its on her if she feels embarrassed for assumptions she made, maybe that makes me the asshole?

Let's see what readers thought.

desertsonglala writes:

NTA - Teacher is completely inappropriate. Good for you mirroring back her BS. The counselor had a crappy perspective. She and the teacher are not respecting you as a person including your privacy. What about the teacher blatantly talking about you then conveying pity (?), your supposed ignorance (?).

School staff should not state personal life details (or insinuations) in class. This is a breech of privacy. You and your family should submit a complaint and/or meet with the principal/teacher and counselor.

There is no stopping this person; imagine her asking others: "You can write about being homeless, your gma's 'past', twin's death in the ice last year..." Imagine if topics were stated aloud in class for her to write about. Best to you!

bimodalshrimp writes:

WTF!!!!! She has no business spouting out these things for all to hear in class!! If, and ONLY IF, a person raised their hand and said: "I'm in doubt about what to write about" then the sub could go down to the person and talk to them and give them some pointers, but not use specific examples from their lives, but give them a general idea and then they could decide for themselves what they wanted to write about.

Someone who went through something deeply traumatic could have started to cry/had a panic attack/had a different mental reaction in the middle of class being reminded of the incident and having it shared with people, they didn't want to know about it. You and your dad's need to put in a formal complaint about her.

It's not OK what she did. Those are deeply personal things and it's not her business to share those. It's her business to keep it between the teacher and the individual student. Oh and NTA.

hairypotatokat writes:

The sub thing is bad enough. But for the counselor to not even hear OP out, and automatically jump to 'student bad. go apologize. NEXT!' That's a biiiig problem. It illustrates a bias against students strong enough to affect their ability to provide guidance.

OP, I'm a parent- one that comes from a family of teachers and principals, and who's very supportive of public education. I've also been in the unfortunate position to need an education attorney for my kid.

I'm not saying your dads need to jump to that. But I hope they talk to the principal very firmly about the sub disclosing private information and about the counselor's handling of this. I also hope the principal evaluates how the counselor handles other situations where a student has a conflict with a teacher or other adult.

Having an adult do something shitty and then being told by a person of authority that your reaction was bad and you need to apologize 1- makes kids feel unsupported and 2- trains kids to be obedient in destructive and abusive situations and even blame themselves.

If the principal brushes it off, they need to go to the superintendent. If the superintendent brushes it off, go to the school board. If they brush it off, consult an attorney and see if any of this is within their scope/anything they could do to help.

Looks like OP is NTA. Any thoughts on this situation?

Sources: Reddit
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