Teen's estranged mom comes back into his life, he tells GF full story, GF cusses out his mom.
There's nothing quite like a partner standing up for you to family, in a way that ultimately backfires.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a man asked if he was wrong for telling his GF the truth about his mom. He wrote:
"AITA for telling my girlfriend that my mom chose the dog over me?"
Back when I (18m) was 8, my parents got a divorce. My mom and dad reached an agreement; she got the Labrador Retriever and dad got me. I haven't seen her for nearly 10 years, until she contacted me two months ago. She said she really missed me but was too ashamed of herself for the agreement to reach out. We reconnected and I even introduced my girlfriend (18) to her.
I made a mistake though. They got along well at first and exchanged numbers, but then gf asked why I seemed tense around my mom. I told her it's because I haven't seen her in almost 10 years. She asked why and I told her about the custody agreement. My gf then called my mom. She, according to mom's description, 'screamed for five minutes' and called her 'piece of s#$t.'
Then my mom told me I shouldn't have told my gf that, and that I should've known it would lead to a great deal of embarrassment for my mom.
Redditors jumped in the comments to share their thoughts.
ElephantRedCar91 wrote:
10 years later…of course, your mom is contacting you again, the dog is dead.
OP responded:
When she first contacted me, I was actually tempted to tell her I missed the dog more than I missed her.
NemeshisuEM wrote:
NTA. Dude, she abandoned you at 8 years old. Call me petty but I would never forgive that. The way your girlfriend reacted, that should have been your reaction. Ditch the newly found mom and keep the girlfriend. She obviously cares more about you than your mom.
bookshelfie wrote:
NTA. But both of them are AHs. GF crossed boundaries, and you are not required to lie or pretend everything is rosy to make mom feel better. If she feels embarrassed by her choices, she should process her emotions of shame with a therapist.
BloodOfHell42 wrote:
NTA.
But, multiple things are so wrong.
I love dogs, they are 100% family members, but do your parents know that they can both have both you and the dog? Do they know about custody agreements? You and the dog aren't things you can't move. Wtf is wrong with them?
As much as you have to deal with all of this, I'm not sure if things aren't going a bit quickly. You mother came back and you directly introduced your girlfriend (who seems to be new, since she doesn't know about your mother not being here for the past 10 years), they directly exchanged numbers.
That they did it even before you have the time to be asked about your relationship with her (which would have lead you to tell about the agreement), that's quick.
Why did your girlfriend call your mother? And even more to scream at her and insult her? Of course, she can be angry and sad in empathy for you, but calling your mother is too much. It's none of her concerns, that's something to deal only between you and your mother.
She is an AH too, she is creating even more problems and she is too much implied in something that, once again, doesn't concern her at all. Is the dog okay...? How can you not say something about him? 😭 And in fact, writing all of this, I tend to think it's fake. At least, I really hope it is. It really looks like a cartoon, everything is absurd.
After receiving a lot of support, OP jumped on with an update.
UPDATE : I've talked to them both separately. Talked to my mom first. Told her I didn't think my gf would call and scream at her. She admitted that she should have expected it at some point, and said that it upset her because she felt that the things my girlfriend said to her were accurate, since she did choose the dog over me.
Later I talked to my girlfriend and she confirmed my mother's narrative, admitting that she 'lost control.' I told her I greatly appreciate her caring so much about me but don't want her getting into shouting matches on my behalf over something that happened 10 years ago. She said she still feels protective of me but will control her temper in the future. So we are all good.
OP is NTA here, but this whole situation is very rough.