Teen tells neighbor their young child is a 'pervert' for watching her mow the lawn.
The only beings more curious than cats, are children.
We all try to be respectful and especially sensitive when children are involved. So, what do you do when its a child-on-child offense?
AITA. Am I the asshole for letting my toddler watch the neighbor mow the lawn?
My toddler (1.5m) and I (25f) were playing the the fount yard today trying to enjoy what little sun we'd been having and get some fresh air. We live in a cul-de-sac so we can see everyone's front yard from ours.
The neighbors teenage daughter maybe around 15 years old comes out with her lawnmower and gets to work on her yard. (She lives directly across the street from us) My son loves watching the world go by, he often watches the older kids play on the street and they always interact and say hi to him.
So he runs to our fence with his little Juice box and sits down in front of the gate so he can watch her mow the lawn. He wasn't always watching her sometimes he'd just start picking the dandelions and throwing them around our yard but most of the time he'd just sit and watch quietly.
I kept my eye on him because it's a low fence and I'd never let him play out front not supervised, I've read horror stories of parents letting there kids play put front and getting snatched. I was also just plotting around the garden and looking into my vegetable boxes to see what's growing.
She kept looking over at my son and then going back to work I watched her walk over to my fence and she started screaming how it's creepy my son is watching her and I need to teach him from a young age not to stare at women or else he'll grow up and be a creep.
I got up right away and grabbed my son and apologized and tried to say he's just curious what you're doing but she kept screaming at me because she doesn't like to be watched. I scooped my son up who was crying at this point (what baby wouldn't cry being yelled at) and hurried to the back yard so he could play there.
She left while angrily muttering to herself about how I'm a bad mother and my son will soon be a creep.
I'm now feeling really bad about letting my son watch her mow the lawn and maybe we shouldn't play I'm the front yard any more.
So am I asshole for letting my son sit and watch?
Here is what readers had to say:
NTA, but I’d extend some empathy to the 15 year old. She’s likely already being sexualized by men much, much older than her. She can’t yell at them, so she is lashing out where she feel safe enough to.
I’d probably respond with something like “I’m so sorry, it sounds like you’ve had some bad experiences with people staring at you” and see if she opens up.
Why the hell does society always try to excuse women's behaviors and make excuses for them? OP shouldn't apologize for sh*t because she didn't do anything. 🫠
'She might have a tough life so you should apologize for your kid's curiosity since SHE verbally assaulted YOU' does that really make sense in your head?
Why didn't you go sit next to him and tell that idiot to get off you're property? I would have stared at her with my kid until she freaked out and ran inside.
When I was a nanny I would take the toddlers I watched on walks and we would watch all kinds of things: roofers, road crews, postal workers, idk, and I would narrate what they were doing and why, and how it related to things the kids understood.
If this happens again it sounds like a good opportunity for a gentle teaching moment for this teen if you’re up for it.
Something like, “fyi children this age aren’t thinking about sex at all, it’s biologically not a thing for him yet, this is literally the first time he has seen someone mow a lawn and he’s really curious. He’s putting together lots of things like the sound of the mower and the smell of cut grass…” idk. Or maybe even talking to this teen’s parent?
I’m all for the internet making young people more politically aware, but I think sometimes they’re a little too young or inexperienced to understand things like the Male Gaze or whatever she thought your child was doing.
Or maybe someone else has been looking at her really creepy and she’s taking it out on your kid. Or she’s just a teenager having trouble regulating her emotions. Whatever is going on, this wasn’t appropriate of her, and even if she was right she could have talked to you about it without shouting at your baby.
You and your kid are NTA, but it does speak to how sexualized young women are that she thought her response was accurate and reasonable.