Teenage son tells dad and stepmom, 'my stepsister is NOT my problem.' AITA?
When this teenage son is frustrated with his father's new wife and stepsister, he asks Reddit:
"AITA for asking my dad and his new wife "why is this my problem?" when they were explaining something about my dad's new stepdaughter to me?"
My dad got married a little over a month ago. I (16m) met his wife and her daughter just under 2 months ago. They had a long distance relationship before that. Dad's stepdaughter is 4.
The incident in question happened a week ago. My dad's wife's daughter wasn't home. I think she was with a friend of my dad's or something. But they did that so they could talk to me.
Dad's wife told me that she and my dad needed me to know that her daughter would need me more than ever.
She told me that while she was married to her ex husband she had an affair and that her daughter was born as a result of the affair and that her older kids all made it clear they were disgusted by her and found her repulsive as an affair baby and she said they made it clear they would never consider her a sibling or treat her the same as they treat each other because she's tainted by the way she was born and all this stuff.
She told me that meeting my dad was the best thing ever and she was so grateful they had the chance to move so her daughter wouldn't grow up feeling hated every day and so she had the chance at a family who would love her and treat her the way she deserved to be treated.
I didn't really get why she was telling me at that moment and I felt like it was a weird thing to bring up to me. So I asked why this stuff was my problem when they were still practically strangers to me.
They got mad and told me that was a horrific way to react to being told "my new sister" was treated terribly before and hated for something she could not control.
They told me it should be obvious why I was being told, because they wanted me to make an effort to be her older brother and not just a stepbrother she lived with for two years and then turned his back on her once he was out of the house.
They said I could be a great addition to her life and I should be honored that I get the chance to have a sibling because losing my mom so young and dad not finding anyone else special until years later meant I could have remained an only child forever.
My reaction was not what they liked and then they told me my attitude was a problem and my reaction to being given relevant information as well as my lack of enthusiasm to be there for dad's new stepdaughter was painting me in a negative light.
Dad's wife told me I was lucky they had the foresight not to say this with her daughter in the house because it would be crushing for a little girl to pick up on my lack of affection for her. I asked where the affection was meant to come from after so little time and being thrown together as strangers.
The last week they have made comments about my attitude and my dad told me I was out of order being so rude and dismissive with my "why's this my problem". AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
alarmingreply7 writes:
NTA. You asked a very good question… why is it your problem? You should ask your Dad some more questions like …. why he believes it’s an “honor” for you to be responsible for a toddler while you’re a teenager.
Also, if you’re responsible for the emotional wellbeing of the 4 year old, who’s going to be responsible for your emotional wellbeing since you’re still a minor? These adults have some issues. Out of curiosity what is the age difference between your Dad & his wife?
bonm56 writes:
NTA Wow, your Dad messed up big time here. Your StepMom cheating and her daughter being the result of her cheating is not your problem. You are absolutely correct. Would it be nice if you did treat her like a sister?
Yeah, but you are by no means obligated. Them trying to force you into this sounds mentally unhinged. My guess, she wants you to be a “brother” to her daughter so she can have free babysitting and dump her kid on you.'
Also, doesn’t your Dad take her being a cheater and acting like this as a red flag? My advice, talk to your Dad alone. If that doesn’t work, try to be civil but keep your distance until you can move out.
ksnitter writes:
NTA, I am confused as to what being an "older sibling" means to them. Like, the child is openly disdained and disparated by half siblings, so anything less than that? It's easily done as all you need to do is not be mean to this kid.
No teen wants to hang out with a toddler. If you had wanted to constantly hang out with a baby, you would have gotten a girl pregnant. Then, it would be an obligation to hang out with said child.