Terminally ill man wants to cash out life insurance; his parents want the money.
When this dying man is conflicted, he asks Reddit:
'AITA I want to cash out my life insurance policy so I can spend the last 9-12 months in comfort, but my parents (beneficiaries) are threatening to disown me?'
I'm tired and am going to have a nap. Thanks to all the msgs of support and clarification on hospice entitlements and fin advice. To put concerns to rest, when I said I won't be eligible for hospice for a few weeks before the end I worded it badly. As much as is in my power the only time I will go into hospice proper is my last few weeks.
I am young and strong and I plan to spend as much time by the sea until I can't. Let's see if life screws that up for me too lol. I will be meeting up with the social worker soon and making sure I claim everything I can.
I love my parents despite the past and my family and I know this is putting a terrible strain on all of us, and I hope they will forgive me and keep the best memories on top. That's all everyone, take care.
Six figures cash out, seven figures if it goes to beneficiaries. It's a crazy good policy but only because I am dying at the age I am and from the condition I have. It's like winning the worst lottery ever lol.
So yeah, I have a terminal medical condition (M28) which I won't go into too much detail about. I didn't have the best health insurance/doctors, so I found out I had a big problem pretty much when it was too late.
About the only thing I had of value other than some meager savings, an even smaller 401 and my car was a life insurance policy I got years ago when I was 18 - it was a relatively small amount yearly and awesome terms so why not?
I always thought I could swap it over to a future wife/kids, but not happening now. So I haven't been able to work now for about 2 months, but I won't be eligible for hospice care until probably a few weeks before the end. The actual policy itself was for an eye watering amount if I died before a certain age which unfortunately is what is going to happen.
I have been living at home with my parents rent free since I stopped working which is good of them. We haven't had the best relationship growing up, and they pretty much only did the minimum required by law in terms of how they raised me. No complaints, but not 'Parents of the Year' material. A lot of this was due to finances.
I have been putting money towards food and utilities but not the rent they are paying, as that was a cost they were covering by themselves and my being here hasn't increased it. Anyway, I have been investigating cash outs, both through the company and investor groups that will give you a bit more in exchange for being named as beneficiary.
I will probably stick with the company offer to get things moving faster. There are going to be some taxation issues, but the end result will be that my parents will essentially get an amount that will cover my funeral and possibly a really good second hand car.
I estimate that the amount I will get will be enough for me to rent a nice condo near the beach, nice meals, maid service, some great experiences while I am well enough, and some in home care nursing towards the end.
My parents have basically said that the life insurance policy named to them will 'set them up for life' and allow them to buy a house and invest etc and probably even retire early (they are in their 50s and were probably going to have to work until they dropped).
They are telling me that they have made a lot of sacrifices to have me move into their house until I go to hospice, but I really don't see what that is other than the inconvenience of three adults in a two bedroom house.
One of them was going to give up work towards the end to provide some home care until I qualified for hospice, but my cashing out will mean they can keep working. I get that it would be the noble thing to help my parents out, but I don't want to.
Is OP TA?
chapsave711 writes:
NTA. Your parents are looking at you as a post-mortem ATM. They actually are looking forward to you dying so they can cash in. Take the money and spend it how you wish.
wawa85 agrees:
Firstly I’m so sorry to hear about your terminal illness. NTA you have the right to spend your life insurance payout how you want to. If there is anything left then yes you can specify who it gets left to but wow your parents getting mad at you for wanting to enjoy your last few months is sick!