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Uncle gets nephew's haircut without mother's permission. 'It's a safety issue.' AITA?

Uncle gets nephew's haircut without mother's permission. 'It's a safety issue.' AITA?


When this uncle may have taken things too far, he asks Reddit:

'WIBTA for getting my nephew's hair cut without his mother's permission?'

Relevent backstory; most of the men in our family have really long hair, its always been a thing. Im totally cool with that, i like long hair on guys, so this isnt a style judgement thing.

My nephew is 8, and his hair is all the way down to his butt. He used to get really upset by people asking if he was a girl all the time, but his mother shot down any requests for a hair cut. Now he just introduces himself as 'Hi, Im X, im a boy'. I fee like this is a mental health safety issue.

When he was in his mothers care, he would come for visits with knots so big some of them looked like dreads because she wouldnt wash or brush his hair.

This was years ago, he definitely wasnt old enough to do it himself, and it would take me and or my mother an hour or more to get all the knots out while he cried about hating having so much hair.

His mother has been a revolving door parent his entire life, but up until now she has always had custody even when she disappeared for months at a time with no visits. After she good hooked on fentanyl she didnt visit or call for six months.

After she started putting my niece and nephew in actively dangerous situations my mother filed for custody and now she and i each have them for half the week, and my sisters visitation was suspended after she did something that really hurt my niece.

When my nephew realized it was going to be a while before hed see his mom again, he jumped and asked for a haircut, and admitted he wanted to cut it all off himself but he knew how mad his mom would be.

My mother is all for it so i booked him an appointment and he picked out a short style he likes. It will be the first time since he was born that his hair has been this short.

Hes ecstatic, and whether im the AH or not i am going to take him, but i do feel like an AH knowing his mother is going to be furious. I love him so much, but hes also not my kid. So reddit, WIBTA?

Let's see what readers had to say.

littletillion writes:

Given the circumstance, NTA. I'm all for waiting to cut a little ones hair, boy or girl, but if it's getting to the point where giant knots are forming, it's not maintained (it sounds like in anyway) and overall uncomfortable, then what needs to be done in the interest of the child needs to be done. If he's happy, that's what matters. And hey, the nice thing about hair is that it grows back!

sunnyhill writes:

NTA. Long hair takes a lot of work to keep it neat and detangled, and if he doesn't like it, it'd be cruel to insist on him keeping it. Let him have the hairstyle he wants, and it's hair, it grows back if he ever decides to go back to long hair.

pademius writes:

NTA - Sadly, this kid seems to be neglected by his mom. Doing this will definitely make her furious like you say, but it's not only in the best interest of the kid, it's also what he wants, and I think that's what matters here.

Looks like OP is NTA. Any advice for this uncle?

Sources: Reddit
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