Being a mother is hard, but so is working in the service industry. Is it ever okay to judge a mother or a pregnant woman for what they're ordering? Sometimes, you want to step in for safety concerns, but is it better to just MYOB? When this server is concerned about a mother's order at their restaurant, they take to the popular Reddit Forum to ask:
I work at a restaurant/bar in the U.S. We have a bar section that's 21+ only and the restaurant portion and outdoor patio is all ages. I mostly work in the bar section but someone called out today so I covered her restaurant shift. A woman in her mid-20s with a baby that looked less than a year old in a stroller came in around 2 today and asked to be seated on the patio.
I seated her, brought her a menu, water, etc. then went back to take her order after a bit. I was automatically put off because she asked what light beers we had on tap. I told her what we had but suggested she take a look at our non-alcoholic beverage list instead. She said no and that she'd take a glass of Ranier (ewww lol).
At that point I had to tell her that I couldn't serve her because she was with a child. She looked surprised and asked why and said obviously she wouldn't give beer to her baby. I fumbled a bit and told her that legally I couldn't sell her alcohol when she was with a minor but she told me she'd been in before with her husband and kid and that she'd never had a problem ordering alcohol before.
She also said shed worked in restaurants in our state in the past and that she was never made aware of that law before so she doubted I was correct. Technically it's not illegal for an adult to purchase alcohol with a child present but imo it's still just a bad idea.
At that point I was pretty much forced to tell her that I didn't feel comfortable selling her alcohol when she was with her kid and that she could drive home drunk and injur herself and her kid. I mean, what kind of mom drinks beer at 2 in the afternoon??
She asked to see the manager so I had to drag my ah manager out to talk to her. I tried to explain to him my concerns but he brushed me off. He ended up serving her her beer and a meal as she requested a different server but I was the only one in the restaurant section not on break.
After the 'mom' left my manager went off on me telling me he had to comp her drink because of my shi*** behavior and that I was lucky she turned down his offer to comp her whole meal.
I tried to explain to him how irresponsible she was being and he nearly yelled 'what's wrong with you? I carded her and she was over 21 and had one beer with her meal. It's not like she was waisted and we had to cut her off or 86 her'.
He then sent me home for the day and told me he was canceling the rest of my shifts until he could talk to the owner and 'figure out what to do with me'. I don't think I did anything wrong, that woman could've seriously hurt herself or her child while drinking.
My manager, coworkers, and a few of my friends have told me I was being an asshole and that she's an adult that can make her own decisions, but morally this situation doesn't sit right with me. AITA?
Oh, yeah, YTA. But in the US, you are right in line with people not trusting women's judgement, exerting control over their bodies, and shaming them. In the future, MYOB.
We appear to have decided that women's bodies belong to the state, and are therefore open to policing by any other citizen.
sezit writes again:
But the far bigger harm right now is that women are being demoted below children, below fetuses.... and guns are valued higher than either. The US has become morally sick and evil.
YTA. Yeah, the way OP put the word “mom” in quotes is a dead giveaway of what they think of her. The woman ordered one beer. With a meal.