When this young woman gets married and gets her teen cousin drunk at the wedding, she asks Reddit:
I (21F) got married last month to my husband (21M). We got together years ago at a party he threw and our wedding was reflective of that; we're still young and planned the wedding to be a huge party.
The invitations stated it was not going to be a child-appropriate wedding at all, and that we didn't want any kids under age 12 there. Teens could come but at their parents' discretion.
The night was fantastic, but about halfway through my mom came up to me to tell me that my aunt was bad-mouthing me to some of our close relatives. I just shrugged it off because I didn't want to cause drama at my own wedding.
Later on, I did a group shot with my sisters (16 and 18) and cousins (14F, 14M, 17M). We all grew up very close and I couldn't imagine my wedding without them there.
We all used to sneak drinks together at my cottage when we were younger so it was a bit of nostalgia for me. My uncle (father to my two male cousins) and my parents were fine with them drinking at the wedding, but they talked about that with them beforehand.
Right after, my aunt came over to me and started berating me for doing the shot. I asked her what her problem was and she chewed me out (very loudly) for allowing her to bring her daughter Aly (my 14F cousin mentioned earlier) to 'such a disgustingly inappropriate event.'
She told me I was immature and an irresponsible AH for letting her underage daughter have access to alcohol.
I told my aunt it's not my problem and that she should have spoken to Aly about drinking before coming to the wedding. I reminded her that the invitations warned her and that it's her own fault for bringing Aly.
She responded by saying that she thought Aly would be fine since my sisters and our other cousins were at the wedding as well. She told me I'd regret 'this whole night' once I 'grow up and stop acting like a damn child.'
It's been over a month and my aunt is still not speaking to me. My mom is upset with me as well for the way I handled the situation. She doesn't agree with my aunt, but she does think I'm partially at fault.
I feel like this isn't a big deal, all teenagers drink at some point. I hid the fact that I drank from my parents all through high school and it sucked because if something bad would have happened, I wouldn't have had anyone to call to help me.
I feel like it's better that Aly learns she has people close to her who are cool with it so she doesn't end up in the same situation.
I understand that I'm not Aly's parent, however I think my aunt should have talked to Aly about drinking before the wedding instead of making it my responsibility to set those boundaries with her. AITA?
NTA. You told everyone up front that it would not be an appropriate event for children and that teens should come at their parent's discretion.
They already had the shots before they approached you so they had to have gotten them from somewhere. It's not your responsibility to parent someone else's kids at your own wedding.
YTA. You really don’t think there’s a difference between offering a young teen a sip of champagne for a toast and knocking back shots?
OP claims this is okay because it’s an opportunity for Aly to learn how to drink responsibly in a friendly environment, but by her own admission, she wasn’t keeping tabs on what Aly was up to beyond knowing this wasn’t her first drink of the night.