Wife GROUNDS husband after he and his friends 'soil' the family car. AITA?
When this wife is annoyed with her husband, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for effectively grounding my husband after he and his friends soiled our family car?"
Last Sunday, my (F43) husband (M44) took our family car to go fishing with his friends. Since I was going to be away for a few days the following week (this week), I thought it would be a good thing for him to go, since for the days I was gone he’d be taking care of our 4 kids on his own. So, I encouraged him to go have some fun with his buddies.
He came home Sunday night and told me a lot about how great it was, what his friends were up to, etc. He then glossed over the detail that the car was a little dirty. Monday morning (I had to get to work and get the kids to school), I opened the garage and the car was completely filthy with much of the lower half covered in mud.
I was disgusted but didn’t think too much about it since I was in a rush. I opened the door, and somehow the interior was even dirtier than the outside. Since I’m the primary driver of the family car, I always keep it super clean, so I was quite irritated at this.
Once I dropped off the kids and got to work, I texted my husband about the situation. He apologized profusely and said he’d get it cleaned while I was on my work trip (Tuesday – Thursday).
I got back last night and saw the car was still dirty. I mentioned it to my husband and he apologized again, saying that he’d get it cleaned this weekend after he goes out with his friends.
I was tired from my trip and very frustrated, so I told him that he would not be spending any more time with his friends until the car was clean. I think he thought I was joking because he didn’t act serious about it. When I reaffirmed that he would not be going out, he acted surprised and said that I couldn’t be serious.
Later that evening, he was talking on the phone with two of his friends, talking about how they were looking forward to this weekend. My husband typically talks on speaker phone so when I heard, I walked into his office and told his friends that he wouldn’t be able to make it this weekend until he finished some responsibilities.
My husband looked so surprised by this and one of his friends asked him to confirm and he just said “Apparently I am grounded”. This morning he told me how embarrassing it was that I would say that to his friends, but I told him that he decided not to get the car cleaned and he also said the word “grounded”.
Needless to say, he isn’t going out until the car is clean. I think he might be upset with me and I’m starting to feel conflicted. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
youthasia writes:
If your husband wants to call it being “grounded”, well, those are his words. The term “grounded” is often used in a parent child situation. Your husband used it-because on some level he realized he was acting like a child.
But, damn, he took your car, trashed it, promised to clean it, didn’t clean it for days, and then expected to be off lallygagging with his literally filthy little friends, still without cleaning your ordinarily pristine car. Oh, hell no.
He was waiting for you to clean it. You know that’s what he was doing. And by playing the “I’m grounded” card, what? was he expecting you to be embarrassed or sorry that you said something? Again. Oh, hell no. NTA.
heirravenclaw writes:
ESH. Him for his actions surrounding the car, and you for “grounding” your spouse. He’s not your child, this isn’t a healthy relationship dynamic. If my spouse started to think they could “ground” me and prevent me from seeing my friends, I’d be checking out of that relationship. Weird power move, don’t see it ending great for you.
boobah7 writes:
NTA. I get so tired of “being busy with work” as an excuse. Everyone is freaking busy. Literally, pretty much everyone. If you mess something up, it is your duty to fix it. Do not let him get away with doing a crappy job of it either. It should be the way he received it or better.
I have no problem with you “going full mom” on him while on the phone, because you asked him kindly and respectfully before and he didn’t do it. Let him pout about being called out in front of his friends. He should have been a respectful spouse and never have returned the vehicle trashed.