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Woman waits until 34 weeks to tell sister who suffered stillbirth that she's pregnant. AITA?

Woman waits until 34 weeks to tell sister who suffered stillbirth that she's pregnant. AITA?


When this woman felt guilty about telling her "grieving" sister she was pregnant, she asks Reddit:

"AITA for announcing my pregnancy?"

(28f) am pregnant with my husband (30m) baby. I have a sister (30f) who has been trying to get pregnant for the past 5 years. This has resulted in 3 miscarriages and a stillbirth.

When I found out I was pregnant I made sure not to tell my sister, since she was grieving her stillborn, who has passed around a year ago. I told my parents and husband's parents and they were overjoyed.

Out of respect for my sister I didn't have a babyshower or gender reveal or any big ceremony. Just a lunch where I announced the pregnancy to close friends and family and we all agreed to not tell my sister until we felt like she was ready to know.

Anyways, I am now 34 weeks pregnant and I haven't seen my sister in over 6 months. She called me the other day, to tell me she was 3 months pregnant and things had been going well so far.

I congratulated her and she invited me to her house for dinner. I discussed this with my parents and husband, and we decided it was time to tell her.

I went to her house for dinner this weekend, and when she let me in she freaked out. She asked me if I was pregnant and I said i was. She started sobbing. She was absolutely hysterical. Her husband took her in to calm her down and we decided to leave.

She texted me on Monday saying that it was selfish that I was going to have my baby first and my parents would be more focused on me than her. She accused me of being cruel, and getting pregnant just to upset her. She said she would ask our parents to choose between us.

This was the last straw for me. This was my first pregnancy and I wanted to do things like a baby shower and all, but I didn't because I knew it would hurt my sister. I called her a selfish, mean b&%ch and blocked her.

Her husband called me to tell me she was inconsolable because her own sister was trying to upstage her and her baby. Our mom isn't taking sides, but my dad and husband are on my side. A few of my cousins reached out to me, calling me names, and it made me wonder if I'm in the wrong. So AITA for announcing my pregnancy?

Let's see what readers thought.

littlerunnerboy writes:

ESH. In my opinion you waited too long to tell her. Showing up 34 weeks pregnant? You may as well have just shown up with the kid.

Your sister overreacted to you being pregnant. There's nothing wrong with wanting to start your own family. It would be similar to if you were getting married before her.

You overreacted as well. Instead of rationally talking to her like a mature adult, you just went and did the exact same thing she did by insulting her and calling her names

beerbook writes:

NTA. OP pregnancy has nothing to do with sister. Half the post I was thinking that not telling her sooner was a mistake, but by the end I realized being in contact with her at all is the real mistake here.

Sister is an AH for the meltdown and drama explosion. Also handing out AH cards to her husband for feeding into the delusional rage and any third partied who feel the need to jump into this poop show to harass a pregnant woman for being, well, pregnant.

People are not going to stop having babies to protect sister's feelings. Not being dismissive of her journey, but that is not OP's (or anyone's) fault and blaming them is misplaced.

anonymians writes:

ESH, her way more then you. Her reaction is, maybe somewhat understandable, very harsh and selfish. But how in the world did you think just showing up 8 months pregnant is the best way to leuk her know. You did several things to be respectful to her, but in my opinion make a bad decision in the way you told her.

Looks like the jury's out on this one. What do YOU think?

Sources: Reddit
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