Woman accused of 'ruining Christmas' when she doesn't kiss niece's princess shoes. AITA?
When this woman upsets her husband's niece on Christmas, she asks Reddit:
"So my husbands niece identified as a princess during Christmas and I ruined it by refusing to kiss her shoes?"
I (f37)don’t know what movie or book the niece (f6) has watched or been read but when we arrived to SIL’s cottage on Christmas eve the little girl greeted us with saying that she was the princess and that we only should adress her as your highness.
I thought it was obnoxiously ridiculous but decided to keep out of it. It didn’t stop there because during the whole stay no two people could have a conversation without yelling and screaming from the little girl and her mother to turn any conversation or attention towards her.
This is not uncommon with parents I have noticed and I don’t resent people for it. I have long realized that this is life when you’re a parent. Nothing and nobody else matters but your children.
You get all the love you need from them. Parents think that the sun shines out of their children’s backside and nobody was is or will be as wonderful as their kids. We are programmed to be that way for our survival as a species.
The little niece is also the first (and until a couple of months ago only) grandchild in the family so everyone loves her very much including my husband and I. But the stay was getting exhausting.
Not always did we remember the new arrangement and the girl screamed like a banshee when someone forgot and not adressed her as your highness. So there was a lot of screaming and tantrums but the worst was during Christmas dinner when the girl demanded each to kiss her shoe before sitting around the table (can someone explain if this is some kind of western tradition with royalties and Christmas?
Because I never heard of it). I laughed at first and then said what? This is ridiculous when I saw granny and others kissing the girl’s shoe before sitting. I refused and the niece started screaming like a banshee again saying no Christmas dinner. Everyone was so angry with me but I was horrified and angry in equal measures.
So of course I wasn’t allowed to dine. I called them ridiculous, took a plate of dinner and left for my room. I avoided the lot the rest of the stay I just exchanged polite words and thanked and received thanks for the gifts (with a little tantrum when the niece yelled I HATE YOU) then I made up excuses about taking long walks, gym, etc.
Today we drove home two days earlier than planned. My husband said I ruined everyone’s stay and I guess I did (if it was me or the little girl) but I don’t think I did? If anybody it was the people who raised the little girl. They are the ah imo.
After writing all this maybe I should have given the girl a fake name or something instead of calling her the niece or the little girl. I don’t know. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
wanderingagnostic writes:
NTA. I've happily played my share of pretend games with my own kids and my grandkids, and in some cases random kids in waiting rooms, but I draw a hard line at kissing anyone's shoes. That's a big nope from me.
sirgkar writes:
NTA. I have literally said to a “princess” who was acting out in a similar way, “Princesses have impeccable manners and bend over backwards to make sure their guests are happy and comfortable. They are gracious and respectful, polite and kind. Are you?” She spent the rest of the party in her room, probably looking up words.
It was a huge bucket of cold water on the “entertainment”, but no one wanted to argue about it. I think I got it from a movie or something but I don’t remember.
redcottoncandy7 writes:
I wouldn’t ever go there again. They have shown you that they can all simultaneously lose their sensibility and decency and turn on you, including your husband. I would never take a second chance because who knows when and why it will happen next time.
The first part of their day was consumed with this niece, no doubt you didn’t ruin anything they just needed a new topic at that point to bond over so it was just negativity about you the rest of the time.
I read you’re all in a group chat - you don’t have to do that, the bullying might get worse. You should step away from these people a bit and think about it.