Woman angry when parents accommodate sister's dietary needs and not hers. AITA?
When this woman is upset with her parents, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for getting upset with my parents for offering my food to my sister?"
Hello this is the first time I am doing this. Hopefully I do this right. Unfortunately I (20 F) am lactose and gluten intolerant. I have been lactose intolerant for around 6 years and I recently noticed symptoms of gluten intolerance.
Therefore, I've gone on a gluten and dairy free diet. (I've been on a dairy free diet for many years). I have to admit I'm not very good at being strict about it, but I'm getting better.
Tonight I was making a lil smokeys recipe that didn't have a any gluten or dairy in it. My family, Dad, mom, little sister(15 F), and little brother (10 M) was having a beef broccoli casserole which has dairy in it.
My little sister, let's call her Emma, is a picky eater, often based on mood. One thing she doesn't really like is that casserole. I was in the kitchen making my own meal with the rest of my family when this all transpired.
My mom asked Emma if she wanted the casserole. No. Do you want the plain beef? No. Do you want me to make you a salad? No. Well do you want some of OP's food? Yeah. I was immediately taken a back.
I asked my mom why she offered my food to Emma without asking if it was okay first. She told me it wouldn't hurt me to share. I then reminded her that I bought the smokies myself with my own money. She then scoffed and told me that I was being ridiculous for not sharing with my sister.
Here's the thing, I don't mind sharing my food with my family members. My problem was that my mother offered my food and this isn't the first time she's done so. I tried to communicate this with her but she wasn't having it. My entire family was in the kitchen at this point, so my dad got involved.
As I was trying to get my point across to my parents then started laughing and joking around. "Good thing we give you the food we buy." "Good thing we give you food huh?" I might be the AH here, but I told them that is the job of a parent is to provide for their children. (I'm still living with them.
And I'm going to college currently, I promise I'm not a lazy child taking advantage of my parents) I stuttered when I said that so my dad mocked me by repeating my stutter.
What they said made me very upset so I tried to communicate that to them. I asked them to please stop and that I was upset that my food was offered without me being asked first and that was the only issue.
At this point it was just me and my mother again. She told me I was being very disrespectful for talking back to her and dad and that I need to knock it off. She told me that I am very dramatic and I can't let things go.
It's been a couple days but this has made me very upset and I don't know if I am in the wrong. I don't work much since I'm in college. I also don't have a car so I can't drive to work more so money is tight. AITA?
Let' see what readers thought.
zeeprince writes:
NTA. A parents obligations do not end as soon as their child turns 18. Their LEGAL obligations end, sure. But with ops circumstances directly stating that they eat separate meals due to dietary needs; that they provide their own food for themselves due to this That they are in college, that they live at home, and work as much as possible when they don't have a car, but that money is tight.
Being gluten AND dairy intolerant means that ops meals are going to be more expensive. Ops parents do not have the right to offer up the food that they buy with their own money, that meets their dietary needs, without asking to boot I don't know if anyone else has noticed the cost of housing/rent rising, but I sure have.
Its not uncommon for college kids to live at home now a days to save money. The comments on this thread are gross. Eta, I'm 29, not an entitled kid, so don't assume anything, thanks.
I had parents who actually gave a S about me, and let me live at home rent free while I was in college, and because of that, I was able to graduate college debt free. That's why my opinion differs from everyone else's.
Because I had supportive parents, who helped me instead of tossing me out as soon as i turned 18, saying "figure it out" which is, apparently what a lot of people do, i guess
tellbell writes:
Your parents are absolutely the AHs. Made even bigger AHs for mocking your discomfort and stutter. We have 3 children, my husband and I are firmly of the opinion that we are parents to our children for life. It doesn't stop at 18 or even when they move out of home.
If our kids need help with food or bills or special diets or meds, etc, we will help them. The fact that you are living at home and having to provide for your own special diet is revolting. I am the person in our home with lactose and fructose intolerance.
If any of our kids developed sensitivities, I would provide food for them or cook accordingly. In our home, we eat as a family, and I have modified all our favourite recipes so that I can eat food prepared for the whole family as well.
The fact your parents don't and then feel free to offer the food you purchased and prepared for your dietary requirements to your picky little sister is really shitty. And I find your father mocking your stutter abhorrent. Seriously, he needs to check his attitude.
veratelce writes:
You're NTA, OP. It's your Ma's job to feed Emma, but not by taking food outta your mouth! Especially when you've prepared it yourself. Plus, 15 is >way< too old to baby Em with food appeasement like she's a malnourished 4 y.o. And Dad gets a whoopie cushion encore for mocking your stuttering.
Recommendation: next time, pick out a li'l Smoky, lick it good, and hey-- back in the pot it goes! No picky eater will touch that, and your point will be made. Let Emma cook for herself if she's such a Diva to be taking the food you made.