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Woman berates mom who is body shaming her daughter at heated 6th grade grad party.

Woman berates mom who is body shaming her daughter at heated 6th grade grad party.

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When this mom steps in and 'saves the day', she asks Reddit:

'AITA for publicly confronting a mother who fat-shamed her 12 year-old daughter?'

Back in June, I was one of the chaperones for the 6th grade graduation party at our local elementary school. The attendees included ~100 students, the 6th grade teachers, and a handful of parent and staff volunteers.

Two of the sixth-graders were a pair of twin sisters, whom I'll call Maddie and Katie. The girls are both average height for their age (5'0), but their build differs by quite a bit. Maddie is ~ average sized (90-95 lbs), while Katie is a little heavy (115-120 lbs). The girls' mother was also in attendance.

Everyone was having a great time, but when food was served, tension started to rise. The twins' mother kept commenting about Katie's eating habits. First she said, 'No, don't eat the whole cupcake. Cut it in half.'

Katie did as her mother requested, and when she started to eat the remaining half of the cupcake, her mom immediately told her to wipe off the icing first. Maddie was permitted to eat a whole cupcake with all the icing, without their mother saying anything.

Then a while later, when the twins went with a group of friends to get pizza, the twins' mother said to Katie in a rather loud whisper, 'You're getting ANOTHER slice of pizza?' After that, when the kids were getting potato salad, the twins' mother walked over & tried to take the serving spoon away from Katie.

Near the end of the party, ice cream was being served. The twins' mother rather forcefully said to Katie, 'No, you can't have any. It's fattening and unhealthy, and you've already eaten more than enough today.'

Then she turned to Maddie and said, 'You can have ice cream, you're skinny enough.' This conversation was loud enough that at least a dozen other kids were able to hear it.

Katie protested that it wasn't fair that everyone could have ice cream except for her. The twins' mother responded, 'You can have ice cream when you lose at least ten pounds.'

Enough was enough. I immediately confronted the twins' mother and VERY loudly said that she was 'bullying and humiliating her child,' that 'if Katie developed an eating disorder it would be her fault,' and that, 'mean, rude, judgmental people like you are the reason so many people end up needing therapy.'

Later that evening, my husband told me that I should not have gotten involved, because the situation was none of my business. Or at the very least, I should not have confronted their mother publicly and 'undermined her parental authority' in front of her own kids and so many other children.

I disagreed. Since she was so publicly criticizing and humiliating Katie, I believe it was fitting that I stood up for Katie in an equally public manner. AITA for getting involved in a situation that was none of my business?

Let's see what internet users had to say.

affectionatepoet writes:

Psychologist and body image researcher here! From the bottom of my heart… thank you for what you did for that girl. Her mom is clearly notconcerned about her daughters health - if she were, then neither child would be allowed to have ice cream.

The fact that the “skinny” kid gets to eat what she wants tells me that the mom is fatphobic, plain and simple. It’s important to call out fatphobia when we see it because it has long-term, dangerous consequences. Did you know that anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any mental health disorder? (About 1 in 5).

In terms of whether you should’ve confronted her privately, I disagree with others. I think public is the way to go and here’s why: that mom isn’t going to change. It doesn’t matter what OP or anyone else does

. Doesn’t matter if there’s a private conversation or a public one - the mom will not change because she’s been programmed by decades of societal expectation to believe that what she’s doing is right. (And trust me, if it were that simple to get someone to change, my job would be a lot easier lol).

So discussing this privately wouldn’t have mattered. But by discussing it publicly, you’ve at least shown that little girl that there are adults who stand up for what’s good and right. There are people out there who don’t value appearance above all else. She’s going to remember you and it’ll make a difference. So again - thank you for standing up for that little girl.

builderssent writes:

Yep YTA. You may not like the woman's parenting style but it really is none of your business. If the girl is fat mom is doing her a favor by getting her to cut down on the junk food. The kid was not blessed with a better metabolism or eats more than her twin, it stinks but that's life.

ivyflames writes:

NTA. Both those poor girls are going to end up with a messed up relationship with food. While usually I would say pull the person aside and have a private conversation, I feel like her public bullying needed a public rebuke.

Mom pulling that crap in front of classmates is basically giving them permission to bully Katie as well. Even if the mom doesn’t get it, at least the kids who witnessed it saw that kind of behavior isn’t ok.

So, is OP TA? What do YOU think?

Sources: Reddit
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