Woman 'breaks husband's trust' when she feeds him Beyond Meat against his will. AITA?
When this woman "tricks" her husband, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for making a burger with Beyond Meat patties for my husband without telling him?"
My husband (30M) and I (29F) have been together for several years, and we have a great relationship. But recently, something happened that has caused a rift between us, and I need to know if I'm the AH in this situation.
I've also asked many of my friends and they told me that my husband was being such a baby, but I also wanted to ask here since most of my friends are vegan/vegetarian.
I'm a vegetarian for a long time and my husband is not. I even hate touching meat or looking at it, and my husband knows this well. However, I wanted to surprise him, so I decided to make burgers for dinner one evening.
But.. I used Beyond Meat patties, which are plant-based... I didn't tell my husband about it to see if he would notice the difference because he always hated it and told me that he never wanted to try it...
I acted like I wanted to make a surprise for him since I loved him so much. He had no idea they weren't made from actual meat, and I felt a bit guilty but also kind of happy that he liked?..
However, after he finished eating, I revealed that the burgers were actually Beyond Meat patties. That's when everything went down. My husband got furious, and he didn't hold back. He accused me of breaking his trust and serving him something he had never wanted to try.
He brought up how he's never forced me to eat meat and respects my choices, so why couldn't I respect his preference for real meat... I tried to downplay the situation, telling him it wasn't that big of a deal since he enjoyed it.
But he was adamant that it was a matter of trust. He said he felt deceived, violated and manipulated, and that really hurt him. And recently, he started acting cold and distant and refused to eat anything I prepared for him. I'm left feeling conflicted and hurt by his reaction. I just wanted to prove that he would like it and he did but...AITA?
Let's see what readers thought. They were torn!
ratkind2078 writes:
YTA. He told you he didn't want to eat a certain food item, and you decided to slip it in there without telling him. That's never cool, regardless of why someone doesn't want to eat said food.
And, to be clear, I think his refusal to even try it is pretty stupid, but that doesn't give you permission to deliberately trick him into eating something he has already made clear he doesn't want to eat.
nobers94 writes:
Definition of YTA. Does your husband call your friends babies because they don't eat the way he does? How would you feel if he substituted a little chicken broth into soup and told you about it later?
Providing food for someone is supposed to be a show of support and care at the very least, you've just demonstrated how untrustworthy you are. Adulerating the food you made is like telling your spouse he's too stupid to actually disagree with you on this subject.
I'm suspicious your vegetarian life is more performance that actually belief. Did you tell your mostly vegan and vegetarian friends about it but none of your omnivorous friends about it and expect to get a balanced response to your behavior?
alertcollar09 writes:
NTA - it is a good lesson for you though. Think twice next time and maybe try being a bit more accommodating of his choices as well?
I have been in the situation as well where my partner was vegetarian and I am a meat eater and honestly though I didn't say anything to them, it made me feel terrible when I saw them visibly flinch or look disgusted when I ate meat to the point that I had to stop eating it myself.
To be fair, I understand that a lot of it is reflexes which are out of your control but a conscious effort can be made if you care about your partner enough to support their choices.