Woman defends her body when colleagues say, 'she's childless, that's why she's skinny.'
When this woman feels like her body is being judged by her peers, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for saying my body is not just a result of having had no children?'
I (F26) went to the pool with some female colleagues from work today. We know each other pretty well, but only ever see each other in scrubs at the hospital. Most of my colleagues are a few years older than I am and some have kids.
We were all wearing bikinis and having a nice time so far. Then out of the blue one colleague complimented me on my body. It was a genuine nice compliment and I blushed and said thank you. I am pretty fit, I have a dog I walk daily and I am a dancer and used to dance 7 days a week.
Ever since I’ve been working I dance less though. While my body doesn’t look as nice as it used to back then, I still am lean and I suppose pretty muscular, especially the legs.
After the compliment, another colleague with kids said that of course I have a nice body, I don’t have kids. Some others then chimed in and said how easy it all was before kids and how easy I have it and my body is nothing special. I didn’t say anything because I am pretty uncomfortable with body talk in general.
But at some point it became a bit much and I said that I don’t think my body is just from not having had kids but that I also work out a lot. I also said not having had kids doesn’t equal a “good” body and having had kids doesn’t equal a “bad” body.
The colleagues then exploded on me and said how I belittle parenthood and downplay pregnancy and I should just wait until I have kids and “those legs are gonna disappear quickly”.
I said nothing to that and the rest of the outing passed rather awkwardly. AITA for saying what I said?
Let's see what internet users had to say.
funguy7 writes:
ESH - just take the compliment and ignore the rest. They are attributing your nice body to not having kids as a way to excuse their bodies.
Everyone knows that you can be thin or fat with or without kids. There’s no need for you to get on the Crazy Train with them.
bandoffmychest9 writes:
Obviously NTA. You got a compliment, accepted it gracefully, and they felt the need to attack; 'your body is nothing special' is crazy when you're not fishing for compliments.
I get it, the looking-good-in-a-swimsuit compliment is held in high regard as many people are insecure about their swimsuit body. It probably stung to hear ego cookies were being given out and then not recieve one. But that's no reason to degrade someone.
abdyug78 writes:
NTA and clearly that person was speaking out of shame of their own body issues. The work you put into your health and fitness shouldn’t be tossed out flippantly in conversation.
However, I read the ‘has it easy’ comment, as a woman who has given birth twice, to mean that regardless of the time and effort I put into my health and fitness I won’t ever look like I did when I put the same effort in pre-children. Pregnancy can change your physical structure.
I would imagine they meant that it would be even more difficult, most likely, for you’re body to return to its current state had you given birth. But they said it poorly, and honestly it wasn’t something that needed to be said either.
I am inclined to believe these women are still struggling with the current reality and state of their own bodies and how to embrace the current. It’s a struggle for sure but doesn’t need to be taken out on others.