Mother tries to leave 5yo with stranger for 'emergency,' at the nail salon. UPDATED
"Karen Expects Total Stranger to Babysit Her Child, Even After Being Told NO"
painsomnia
Sooo this is a weird one. Not my story, but a friend who messaged me right after it happened to vent, cuz WTAF??
Karen = Entitled Mother SK = Sweet Kid F = My Friend
So Karen moved into the apartment next to F's a couple of weeks ago. Karen has struck up short, polite conversations with F just 2 times in that period, with the 2nd being yesterday, the day before this whole fiasco unfolded.
This morning at about 9am, while F was having a nice Saturday breakfast (she gets up at 6am on weekdays, so this was a weekend lie-in for her), someone started aggressively banging on her front door. When F answered, Karen was standing there with SK (5yo girl), who had a little backpack on.
Sounding very flustered, Karen said she was sorry to have to ask this with no notice, but could F please watch SK for "a few hours," because Karen had "somewhere really important to be."
Now, something you need to understand about F is that she can't stand kids and has no idea how to deal with them. Like, she tenses up and gets super awkward if a kid so much as waves at her in the supermarket.
F is also disabled. She uses a motorized wheelchair sometimes and a walking cane for short distances or when she's just pottering around her own home. She lives with her girlfriend, who is also her carer. Her chronic illnesses involve fainting spells and a lot of brain fog, so by her own account, she's absolutely not someone who should be left in charge of a child.
Karen has seen F using both her wheelchair and her cane, and has seen F's girlfriend (who was at work when this all happened) helping her in and out of their car.
So F responded with a firm NO, explaining that her medical conditions meant that SK would not be safe in her care and that she's not well enough at the moment to have any guests (let alone an unattended kid) in her home, anyway.
Karen immediately flipped from pleading and simpering to hand-on-hip indignation, at this point, accusing F of "faking" her disabilities (because, of course, if she can walk AT ALL, then she obviously doesn't actually need a wheelchair, right?? 🙄) and threatened to report her to Centrelink (welfare) if F didn't watch SK for her.
Never mind the fact that F isn't on welfare, lol. Her girlfriend has a high-paying job and F works somewhere between part-time and full-time hours from home most weeks (she's a goddamn machine and I don't know how she manages it).
News flash: not all disabled people are unable to work. Although, of course, getting employers to actually hire us is another matter, cuz ableism.
So F basically said, "I'm not on Centrelink and I don't appreciate being blackmailed. Find another babysitter, because I am NOT IT." And closed her door. Karen kept banging on the door for a bit, but eventually left.
About 20min later, F heard a very faint, timid tapping on her front door. She said if she hadn't been so close to it, she probably wouldn't have heard it. She sighed heavily, having kinda already guessed what was happening. She opened the door and there was SK, who had clearly been crying, clutching the shoulder straps of her little backpack. She said, very softly, "Mummy said I could stay here today."
Now, like I said, F cannot stand kids, but even she said that SK was an absolute darling throughout this entire fiasco and the most she ever did was cry, because her mother is clearly a goddamn monster.
Karen had driven off and sent SK to F's door, clearly thinking that if she left F with no alternative, she'd just play along and babysit SK for her, anyway -- especially since F had literally no way of contacting Karen. WRONG.
F escaped abusive parents at a young age and this sh*t made her furious. She got SK settled in front of the TV with a drink and some snacks, and called the authorities.
"Yeah, my neighbour just abandoned her 5yo daughter outside of her apartment and the kid showed up at my door, asking to come in."
When the officers arrived, F told them the full story and while they were appalled, she said they weren't surprised. One said, "You'd be shocked at how not rare this kind of thing is." Which is honestly kind of the worst part of all this.
The officers took SK with them and were really sweet with her, explaining to her that she wasn't in any trouble and had done the right thing, and that they were there to look after her and find out where her mummy had gone.
F found out later that they were able to contact SK's father, who is currently working on finalizing a divorce from Karen and was also appalled, but not remotely surprised by what she'd done. Here's hoping he gets full custody of the poor kid after all this.
Here were the top rated comments after this initial post:
mr_potato911
I hope this kid's father gets custody cause her mother is sh*t, like why would you leave your kid in a huge or small building? I can't really tell, but why would you leave your child with someone you don't know?
The OP responded here:
painsomnia
I know, right?? It's a big apartment complex with a whole bunch of dodgy people living there, too. And what if F had gone out and wasn't there when SK knocked?? Karen should never be allowed around SK unsupervised, again -- or hell, just allowed around her, at all!
neko_sensei
Your friend did the right thing by calling the authorities. I would have done the same. A parent has responsibilities and they can't just push them onto someone else randomly.
The OP again responded here:
painsomnia
Right?? I mean, that poor kid! F said it was really heartbreaking, because SK seemed to understand that her mum didn't want her around. F and I both know what that's like for a young child, when your parents are your entire world, and F was really affected by seeing another kid being put through that.
The next day, the OP provided an update.
"Update: Karen Expects Total Stranger to Babysit Her Child, Even After Being Told NO"
painsomnia
Hey guys, thank you so much for the awards and all of your interest in F's story! I messaged F asking if she had any updates and oooh boy, that was an emphatic yes, haha.
This morning, she had another knock on her door, only it was the dad with SK in tow. He went there to apologize for what his ex had done and so he and SK could thank F for looking after SK and for calling the authorities. She said he seemed like a good guy who was clearly putting his kid first in all this, which was really reassuring to hear.
He told F that, according to his lawyer, her calling the authorities and handling everything the way she had would basically be a gift wrapped custody battle win for him, because wtf kind of court would ever grant Karen custody after the sh*t she'd pulled?? His lawyer was over the moon when the dad called him, haha.
F also asked the dad wtf had been so important that Karen had abandoned her own daughter over it. You guys ready for this? It's so goddamn cliché.
It was an appointment at a nail salon. She'd brought SK several times previously and just demanded that the staff babysit her and refused to even acknowledge the kid during her "me time."
When she'd called yesterday morning to book a last minute appointment (cuz Karens 🙄), the staff put their foot down and told her she could no longer bring her kid to her appointments and would be refused service if she did.
The dad also said that Karen had shown up so late to the appointment that they'd refused to see her, anyway. Again, cuz Karens. So she abandoned her daughter cuz she wanted her "me time," getting her nails done.
The dad told F that "me time" is an excuse Karen uses to ignore her kid, basically any time she feels like it. "DO NOT talk to me during my me time!" etc. The dad also asked F if she would be okay to help with his custody battle. He said he understood that her health isn't great and that his lawyer had said a written statement would be fine.
He said while it probably wasn't essential, since they had the police report, he wanted to have as much evidence on his side as possible, just to be sure. Of course, F agreed.
Karen hasn't yet shown up at F's door to scream at her, so F's thinking maybe dealing with the authorities put some actual fear of consequences into her, lol. We shall see. I will, of course, post further updates if I receive any.
Here were the top rated comments after this latest update from the OP:
stacity
I knew that woman wasn’t having a real emergency. I was thinking she had a date or something but regardless, I was hoping she ended up in jail for child abandonment. Thank goodness this child has a dad that wants her fully.
jamesko1989
Man what a terrible mother. I'd understand an emergency but a nail appointment?
avesthasnosleeves
That poor little girl. It can’t escape her notice that mom finds her inconvenient.
I as well hope dad gets custody.
CharlotteLucasOP
I love my Me Time but the thing is that’s exactly why I chose not to have kids.
Shakeamutt
Your friend might not like or want kids, but she definitely was a big momma bear with the kid.
I am just thinking of the kid. Abandoned, crying, and knocking on The door with her tiny hands. So infuriated by parents like that.