Woman attacks sister for stealing late child's name, family says it's an 'homage.'
When this woman is so angry at her sister, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for calling my sister an insensitive b*tch after she stole my daughters name?'
Three years ago I gave birth to a little girl who only lived for 19 hours. It was a traumatic experience for me and one I struggle with to this day and the pain of her loss led to my ex-boyfriend and I splitting up as we couldn't stand to be together anymore.
Her name is not a family name, she was called Coraline with Iris as her middle name. My Ex Boyfriend and I just each picked a name we liked.
My younger sister recently had a daughter and she kept the name a secret from everyone until it was legal. I didn't think twice about this until the name went online in an announcement, Iris Coraline.
She took both my daughters names and just swapped the order. If she'd only taken one of the names to try and honour my daughter and made a middle name I wouldn't be upset but this felt deliberate and the fact she hid it from everyone makes it even worse.
I went to her home to demand to know what she was playing at with this and she got offended telling me she'd always thought the names were beautiful and she'd swapped the order so I shouldn't be upset.
This led to an argument with shouting on both ends, finally I called her an insensitive bitch before I left and ended up crying a lot when I got home.
Everyone in the family is uncomfortable with this name choice but many think I took it too far to go round to her house and start a fight when she's recovering from giving birth.
Our Mother has told me that there is no changing it now and to just consider it a nice way to keep my daughters names alive but that just feels even worse to me. I might be too close to all of this and it is a traumatic matter for me. Did I go too far?
Let's find out.
ohitsrichard writes:
NTA. She expected you to react negatively, which is why she kept it secret, yet instead of asking you or tactfully telling you, she sets you up to find out on social media… after it is permanent.
This is so insensitive, absurd, a cry for attention, and down right fucked up it is ridiculous.
I’m sorry this is happening to you. This isn’t a way to remember your child… bc she would’ve asked and told you that. She is stealing the name and being shameless about it.
Again, I’m sorry. I hope she realizes her huge mistake but it sounds like the classic case of the youngest sibling who just gets whatever she wants in general and everyone around just conforms to the BS.
borntomorrow writes:
NTA- Excuse me????????? She should've asked permission first of all. But hiding it until it was legal and not easily changed was 10000% deliberate. I agree, calling then (first name) and then have a middle name be either Iris or Coraline in HONOR of your baby would be acceptable (still with permission).
How did she think you would feel when her child came to family events and you had to re-live that trauma over and over again?