No one loves getting a taste of their own medicine when their medicine is double standards and delusion. But those are the times when giving someone a taste of their own medicine is the most fitting.
In a popular post on the AITA subreddit, a woman asked if she was wrong for doing what her partner claims she does, to make a point. She wrote:
Me (24F) and my partner (29M) have been living together for a while and we have a daughter (1.5) I work part-time and he works full time so I do most of the household chores. Recently he has been saying I don't do anything and get to chill at home all day with our daughter.
He doesn't seem to notice any of the work I do around the house, so I stopped. This wasn't my first reaction, and I did try to talk to him but he's adamant that it doesn't take much to look after a toddler and clean the house. After literally months of trying to get him to see how much I actually do I decided I'll just stop doing it (I still clean after myself and our daughter).
He's started complaining how there's so much mess (all left by him) and how he doesn't have any clean uniform or underwear. All of this came to a head when I had to go to a hospital appointment and he spent the day looking after our daughter and had to do some cleaning/tidying.
When I got home he was furious because he'd "done so much" and was exhausted. Apparently, our daughter had pretty much followed him around all day undoing what he'd done (exactly what she does for me).
Instead of realizing what goes into keeping a clean home and looking after a toddler he blamed me for not being on top of everything and leaving everything for him (all that was left was his mess). So AITA for leaving his mess for him?
NTA. If you are doing nothing, then him taking care of the house and your daughter should also be nothing. If he can't see that, that's on him, not on you. Also, it sounds like the only thing you stopped doing was his laundry, which is so small in the scale of daily chores that he should be doing it anyway.
NTA - your partner needs a wake-up call as to how much work it actually is to take care of a home and child.
"Instead of realizing what goes into keeping a clean home and looking after a toddler he blamed me for not being on top of everything and leaving everything for him (all that was left was his mess)."
Personally, this would be a deal breaker for me. If your partner isn't actually interested in being a true partner, then he would be an ex-partner.
There’s the story of a man who comes home to a completely wrecked house, and his kids dumping a pound of sugar in the outside pool. Upstairs he finds his wife reading a book in bed.
“What happened?” he yells. “The house is destroyed.”
Wife looks up: “You know how you always ask me what I did all day? Well, today I didn’t do it.”
NTA - This is called unpaid labour and has fallen on women for hundreds of years. If you're part-time it's certainly reasonable for a greater share of the household duties to fall on you but it sounds like you were doing 100% of the work and still contributing financially with your part-time job as well.
He needs to acknowledge & appreciate the amount of work you do and your actions were totally warranted especially since you already tried to talk to him about it.
NTA. Just another guy that has no clue how hard it is to raise a child. Maybe plan a trip to see your parents or something on a long weekend and leave him with the 1.5 yo. Turn those tables.
Husband sounds a little dense - you’ll have to talk him through the point you’re making. “But you said I don’t do anything at home, so why is there mess?” “How strange, these are only your belongings” NTA.
Your daughter is a menace lol.
Clearly, OP is NTA - and it's high-time she showed her husband the ridiculousness of his claims.