Woman's hubby freaks when she gives their daughter the 'BIGGER PIECE OF CHICKEN.' AITA?
When this mom gives her daughter more food than she gives her husband, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for giving my daughter a bigger piece of food than my husband?"
So this started yesterday evening. My daughter is 6, and she is my only child. Whenever I make dinner, I always serve her first. I just feel like that’s the correct way to do it. My husband protests against this sometimes, but I always shut him down. I just think it’s fair that the kids get served first.
Anyways, yesterday evening I had made fried chicken, and I gave my daughter the biggest piece. I usually give her the biggest piece so she can save some to take for lunch in the mornings, and also because I think she deserves to have it.
I gave my husband the second biggest piece, and when he saw the piece my daughter had he got upset. He said he didn’t wanna eat anymore. When I asked him why he said “As the man of the house, I should get served first”.
I told him that the kids always need to eat first and he said that he doesn’t care and it’s stupid. He then said that a 6 year old like her doesn’t deserve the biggest piece because “what does she do for the household”. He then threw his plate on the ground and I had to clean it up.
When I went to bed that evening he said he was sleeping on the couch, and then said that I needed to fix my morals. Woke up this morning to take my daughter to school and when I tried to say good morning to him he ignored me.
I feel like he’s being a bit overdramatic but I don’t know. I just need a second opinion on this situation because I think this whole thing has just been blown out of proportion. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought. They seemed...concerned.
2983ed writes:
ESH and you guys all need some help. Serving the kid first is fine; it's reasonable to give a bit of preferential treatment to a 6 year old.
Giving the biggest piece to a 6 year old is a bizarre choice; "she deserves it" and "she can save it for lunch" ignore the fact that the average 6 year old eats significantly less than the average adult. There's no reason to not serve her a portion she's likely to eat, and serve your husband a portion he's likely to eat.
"I'm the man of the house" is cartoonishly chauvinistic, and his asking what a literally 6 year old *does for the household* to *deserve* food is both cruel and very, very strange for this modern world.
owlscardinals writes:
I'll go NTA but really I think there are aspects of E S H. Your husband seems misogynistic, like he has some dated ideas of being the 'man of the house' or being enthroned as the leader who deserves preferential treatment, and the idea of being competitive with his daughter is kinda crazy and effed up.
BUT, she is 6, and he is a grown man. It defies logic that she should have the biggest piece. Even if you're thinking about the next meal as well, she can have leftovers for lunch the next day either way.
So in terms of the order of being served, in my opinion that doesn't matter and it would be better for all involved if no one was paying attention to such petty aspects of the household.
Your husband is being incredibly childish and petty. But he's kind of right that she shouldn't get the largest portion, and it would be a simple adjustment for you to stop giving her the biggest piece.
But also maybe consider therapy or something. This suggests some underlying differences in values and philosophies that seem like they could really rear their head later.
jlimcovin writes:
You sound like you’re in an abusive relationship. It can’t possibly be healthy for your daughter to witness this treatment. As another mother, I understand your logic of giving your child the bigger portion and serving your child first.
I do the same for my son and over the weekend my kiddo ended up eating literally my entire burger and an extra sandwich slice and he’s only 4. Kids can have big diets too and what he doesn’t finish does end up being convenient leftovers for his lunch or tomorrow night’s dinner.
Your perspective is valid- weird to other people but most moms should understand. The issue with this situation is your husband throwing his food on the ground and having a serious temper tantrum. If my son did that- HE would have been cleaning that up not me.
It is completely ridiculous that on top of that behavior he slept on the couch and gave you the silent treatment.
Please seriously think about whether or not you want to be in this relationship because that kind of behavior has an influence on not just the household but your daughter and what she will allow in the future as well. NTA.