'AITA for making my husband and children prove they can take care of a dog without my help?'
"AITA for making my husband and children prove they can take care of a dog without my help?"
Before we got married and had kids my husband and I agreed that all big decisions required two yes or no votes. Well, our two oldest kids and my husband want a dog. I do not.
I have heard too many horror stories about a family getting a pet and then the person who did not want it being stuck caring for it. I finally agreed on three conditions. One, smaller than sixty pounds, we do not need a mastiff.
Two, a non-shedding dog only. None of us are allergic, I just don't want extra work. Three, for sixty days in a row they had to collect all the garbage from all the trash cans in the house and put it in the big garbage bin.
That was to make sure they would remember to feed a dog every day. And for sixty days they, all three of them, had to go for a one-mile walk twice a day. With the GPS route tracker active. If they missed a day they had to start over.
The longest they have made it so far is two weeks. My parents called me up to say I was being ridiculous and petty. I 100% agreed with them. But since they always side with the kids I was ready for them.
I sent them a link for a dog walking service in my area. It is very reasonable.
I said if they wanted a say in the dog decision they had to agree to set up an account with that company and that I could call up the company for help whenever their precious, perfect, grandchildren and son-in-law forgot to take care of the dog.
They said I was being a jerk and that they had the right to their opinion. I agreed that they had that. But unless they were willing to pay to include their opinion in the decision it did not matter.
My husband has finally seen that the kids aren't responsible enough to have a dog. Great. He said we needed to tell them. I said that 'we' was one too many people. I wasn't the one who sided with them when I had said I knew they were not ready.
He thinks I'm being a d**@. No one has called me an a**^%le but that's only because they say it in much more polite terms.
Here's what people had to say to OP:
SecretJealous4342 wrote:
NTA. AITA is literally full of posts about people taking care of pets they didn't want. Dogs are a long-term commitment. Has your husband taken into account that your kids will be in school, extracurriculars, dating, etc.
Depending on how old your kids are they may even move out. Who will be taking care of the dog then?
Glanced4 wrote:
NTA - Even though every step along the way was pushing the fuzzy border of A**^%le-dom, I'm giving you N-T-A clearance on this. Most people don't understand the responsibility required to own a dog.
Many dogs are neglected and mistreated because of it. And often the responsibility for preventing those things from happening falls on the most responsible member of the household, which sounds like you. Only thing I'll add is this: give them another chance. People can learn discipline and change.
They can try for sixty days as many times as they want.
ghostlasagnaslime wrote:
NTA. I don't even think what you did was petty. It seems like a reasonable way to determine if your kids are ready for the responsibility of having a dog, and your husband proved that he is not willing to make up for where they're lacking.
You absolutely would have had to look after the dog. You already told the kids you don't think they should have a dog. I don't know why you'd have to do it again. They need to hear it from their dad too.
MichiganMainer wrote:
I stupidly showed this post to my wife. Now my dog dream is dead. YTA just for that :).
Efficient_Onion9434 wrote:
NTA. Well done. You wanted to be proven wrong, and you were proven right. Your family is not ready to be pet owners. And your grandparents adding their 2 cents, fair enough. If they can talk the talk, they can walk the walk. You already said no. Your husband can add his now.
NTA. This was brilliant planning
Not going to lie. I got so many ideas from reading this sub.
Thank you so much for posting this. I fight with myself daily to not get a dog. I am actually trying to get up to walking a mile a day, but then you said I need 2 miles a day. You just pushed the goal post before I made it halfway. 😢😂
About 10 months later OP came back with this update.
They did it. It took them almost a year but they managed to follow all the rules for two months. We have found an acceptable dog at a rescue and we are bringing him home tomorrow. My kids are stoked to get a pup for Christmas.
My husband has lost a bunch of weight from his daily walks and I have too since I joined in on most walks. Thanks everyone for your comments and opinions. I held strong and they came through.