When this woman feels annoyed with her boyfriend's ex, she asks Reddit:
I have been friends with Tim for a few years, and he separated from his wife Amy 6 months ago. Once he moved into his new place, we began dating. Amy thinks there was overlap, but there wasn't. Also, what Amy thinks means nothing to me.
Tim separated from Amy because an incident finally took place that she should have been arrested for, and he could have gotten a restraining order for. It's her own fault they separated, and it was a despicable thing she did, it had zero to do with me.
Amy has been erratic for their entire relationship. I have always known this and witnessed it a number of times for the past few years I have known them. She has been in and out of psychiatric treatment and nothing has helped much. When Amy had their first child, she actually stabilized mentally for a while.
She really wanted a second child and thought it would help so Tim agreed. But after the second child she actually got a lot worse, and again, medication didn't help her. She did get help again but it didn't seem to work.
It's clear Amy really loves her children and she has never done anything to harm them, as far as I know. She mainly releases her extreme rage towards Tim, plus whoever else sticks up for him or is in the vicinity when she goes off.
Even though Amy is erratic, I believe she is in full control over her actions and behaviors. She chooses when to go off and when to present a different image to the world.
She'll say that she only goes off "when people piss her off" so she herself is admitting it's her entitlement to dictate what everyone around her should do and how they should cater to her.
Like I said Amy loves her children, and she is extremely obsessed with them. She thinks they are unique, special children unlike the world has ever seen. All parents think this of their kids, but Amy thinks it to the point of extreme delusion.
She is one of those moms that will bully other children on the playground so her kids can always get their way. Her favorite threat to others is "you'll never be allowed to see my kids again." It's one thing to say this to someone who cares, like grandparents, but she'll threaten neighbors and others with that too.
Since I started dating Tim, Amy is obsessed with the idea that I want to be the "new mommy." She has "told me off" on many different formats about how I will NEVER be her kids's new mommy and how I'm "delusional trash" if I think I can be a mommy etc.
Usually I laugh this off, I don't even like kids, and their kids are exceptionally unpleasant to be around. They're bullies, entitled, and think the world revolves around them. I don't blame them for this because it's not their fault and they're still very young. I'm trying to appreciate them but have zero desire to be their mommy.
One time Amy caught me on the wrong day and I said, "Amy get over it, I don't give a &^%$ about your kids." It's not even true, I do care about the kids even though I don't want to be their mommy. But AITA?
personallisten8 writes:
YTA They aren’t just her kids, they are also Tim’s kids. They will always be in his life and assuming he is a decent dad, they are far more important to him than you are. If you don’t want to be around his kids then end the relationship rather than putting the kids through that kids of neglect or abuse from a terrible step-parent.
fewbadger2318 writes:
YTA and so is Tim. Neither of you are even up for the task of being good guardians to his children. Everything else is irrelevant. And boy oh boy I’d love to know the nature of your friendship with Tim before his separation from Amy.
welcometokuzcopia writes:
YTA. If you don't like kids and find Tim's "exceptionally unpleasant to be around.", why are you dating their father? Also, if the kids are bullies and entitled, that's on their parents - Tim and his ex.
But I think the real problem here is Tim: he really needs to find a nice woman to date or marry. And it's not your nor his ex (although it is sweet that you think that you are better than his ex just because your are mentally stable).