Mom laughs at teacher when son is given detention; won't let son attend. AITA?
When this mom laughs in a teacher's face, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for laughing at the reason my son was given detention and not agreeing to it?"
I realize this title sounds entitled as all hell but I ask that you please don't skimread. If the consensus is that I'm an AH and I'm truly as entitled as the title sounds I'll call and apologize.
I (36F) have a son (11M) In 6th grade we'll call "Preston" which a teacher we'll call "Susan"(50+F?) Some important background is that Preston is pretty skittish and jumpy, he easily gets startled by noises or voices he does not expect, especially if they are loud.
I only have seen Susan in person like twice but she has a distinctly loud, almost thunderous voice, never heard her yell yet though, but Preston says it always makes him jump a little and apparently she's known for being ridiculously loud in general from other kids and parents.
Anyway, I WFH And I got a voicemail on my phone from Preston using a school phone saying he got detention, because Susan yelled at some kids fooling around during worktime, he was startled, and she noticed so she made him leave the room, work in the hallway and call me to tell him he has to serve detention next week.
I did not believe that was the reason he got detention at all because that sounds really dumb and assumed he was just minimizing his role(He does tend to do that when explaining his side when in trouble) so I thought I'd get Susan's side at recess while I went to lunch.
I call her and I was completely caught off guard when what she said lined up with everything Preston said to a T. I wasn't sure what to say at first, but I ended up just laughing on the phone before any words could come out.
Susan was irritated and asked what was so funny and I just responded that I was so sure that Preston was lying to me, because that was such a ridiculous reason to give anyone detention and that he is not serving detention just for being startled.
She tells me that this is not a suggestion and that I'm being obtuse. I stood firm and asked her if she'd think it appropriate if her boss yelled loudly at some fellow teachers, you were startled and then he proceeded to dock HER pay or some other form of punishment, following up with I bet she didn't even do jack squat to the kids she was INITIALLY yelling at after noticing Preston.
She got quiet for a moment and I thought maybe I convinced her, but then she doubled down and said that failing to serve detention would result in suspension or more, and I told her I'd gladly fight her and the school on this if it came to that before hanging up. I do not intend to punish Preston just for getting startled, we all do it and it's nothing worth making any issue out of.
If I'm being honest the only reason chose to post is because I vented to my friend about this later and she actually did not side with me, saying that I was kind of being rude to laugh at Susan and that teachers don't get paid enough to deal with the things I said, so I wanna hear what unbiased people think.
Let's see what readers thought.
boyodee writes:
I startle easily, If I got in trouble everytime I had a reflex response from a loud noise in the classroom I would have been expelled several times over. That is easily the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard someone get put in detention for. NTA!
Talk to the principal about this ASAP and object, I’d be curious if Susan has actually explained what happened yet to those above her(if they have any common sense, they’d say it’s ridiculous) also, maybe to avoid any retaliation, see if he could change rooms and get a different teacher?
nectarine writes:
Good parent. My son got into a fight in 6th grade elementary. He was defending another student from a well documented bully that I had spoken to the school repeatedly about.
When the school tried disciplinary action, I laughed. I offered that the school had two choices. Keep my son in their school with zero punishment or I would be happy to not only withdraw him immediately and then talk to some friends in the press. I also offered to have a face to face with the bruised up students parents anytime.
When asked what I was going to do with my son, as a parent, I told them I was taking him out for a steak and ice cream afterwards. Why? Because my ex wife and I taught our children to defend others, ESPECIALLY against a bully.
Never heard another word about it, and they started to call me even more often to chaperone, even when my children were not in the class going on an outing. This might be US defaultism talking, but I’d say it’s pretty early in the school year to do a switch for the good of your son so this teacher does not pull anymore weird power trips like this one.
hypotheticalvault writes:
NTA. This is a petty and unjust punishment for something your son can't really control. You going to bat for him is good parenting. You might want to get his hearing checked, though.
I'm easily startled & always have been. Jumpy. Skittish. I'm scared of random noises. And I also have what I thought were auditory hallucinations. I've almost choked a couple of times because of being startled with food in my mouth. That gasp, y'know?
What I really have is partial deafness & auditory nerve damage. People who are behind me, or to the right of me, are in my deafness zone. When they suddenly appear in my line of sight, it scares the hell outta me.
Sounds on my right seem to be coming from my left, so if I look to my right & see movement, but I'm hearing it on my left, it startles me.
Got my hearing checked as an adult & found out why all these things were happening. I still startle easy, but dealing w/the other effects is easier & I'm not as skittish as I was.