'AITA for leaving a child I didn't want to babysit home alone?'
"AITA for leaving a child I didn't want to babysit home alone?"
My friend had a child at 21. It's not that I'm not supportive, only that neither her nor her husband are financially stable. Upon the arrival of the baby, husband had to take a job abroad. When the child started kindergarten, friend also took a job as a barista.
I didn't have a child because I want to pursue my career. I'm the same age as friend. I give much importance to education and job. I am now taking my PhD. And at work, I do have a flexible program, but not the 'clock in whenever you want' type.
I helped friend with babysitting before WHEN I COULD, even skipped some classes for the sake of the child who is now 5 y/o. Recently, she started asking more and more for unpaid babysitting and I just refused.
It's not about the money, I wouldn't take it even if she offered (although would've been nice to ask), but I just had important meetings at work that I couldn't postpone.
I denied her request one evening when she had something important to do at work. I explained that so do I, but she had the audacity not only to insist my work can be changed, but to actually bring her kid to me.
For little context, some overseas partners came and I had to attend a dinner with them. I was a key piece so no way I could miss it. She came with the kid and left before I could hand her kid back. I managed to scream after her that I'll leave for the evening and leave the kid alone, but I didn't think she took me seriously.
Having the key from her house, I took the kid home, left some food on the table and essentially locked him in the house and left. I then texted friend everything, reminding her there's a reason I chose not to have kids and telling her I will be unreachable until tomorrow.
I turned my phone off because I could bet she would spam call me. The next day she called me a crazy AH, but I told her someone who drops her kid to a busy person without ensuring they CAN watch him are closer to crazy.
Also from what I know she didn't leave work to go to her kid immediately. So? Who's in the wrong here? I know it may have been careless what I did, but what other options did I have?
Let's see what readers had to say.
frejavenir writes:
YTA - ESH. That is child endangerment. You DO NOT leave a 5 year old alone.You call the police, tell them the parent abandoned them, and leave the child with them. And that 'mother'....What is wrong with that one, leaving a child with someone who can't look after him?
patientad2913 writes:
I'm going with NTA. You made is specifically clear you couldn't babysit, yet she brings her kid over anyway and abandons their kid. I agree that calling CPS or the cops would have been the legally right thing to do, even if it gets your friend in trouble.
You were put in a lose lose situation here, I'd cut ties with your friend for putting that on you. She sounds like a terrible mother. I don't think your terribly bad for making sure the kid was locked in a house with food and giving notice to the mother. Not the best decision in the world, but like I said your in a lose lose situation.
lonelysilverain writes:
ESH. You do not leave a 5 year old alone. You call the cops and let them handle the issue. They'll take the kid, keep him safe, and involve CPS. What you did could have ended in tragedy. Yes your friend is definitely the AH but you did not help the issue.