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Woman asks if she was wrong to leave kids with husband in wheelchair for 2 hours.

Woman asks if she was wrong to leave kids with husband in wheelchair for 2 hours.


Here's how she posed the question, which seems designed to get people on her side, but turns out maybe to be a cry for help...

'AITA for leaving the kids with my husband for 2 hours while I went shopping?'

My husband was involved in an accident that injured his spinal cord so badly he needed to have a wheelchair. He also suffers from a head injury that causes him to be unable to perform some tasks properly as well as constant confusion. Sometimes he'd lose track of time.

I take care of the house and kids on me own. Yesterday, I wanted to go shopping for some Christmas stuff but couldn't take the kids because firstly, they'd want to get everything they see. And secondly, I didn't want them to see what I bought them.

I couldn't get the babysitter to come watch the kids like she does usually when I'm out. I was in a rush, what I did was place the kids (3 & 5)and their toys near my husband and asked him to just keep an eye on them. He was unsure of the whole thing but I had to leave.

During my 2nd hour of shopping I got an angry call from his mother berating me for leaving my husband with the kids knowing he's unable to watch them properly. I went home and she yelled at me there saying thank God she came over because she found my husband asleep in his wheelchair and the kids were out of sight.

I said I was in a rush, the babysitter didn't come and thought it wouldn't hurt if he watched them for a couple of hours. She argued about how irresponsible I was to leave my husband with the kids knowing he's unable to watch them like any other able bodied person could. She said I should've made sure someone was with the kids and my husband.

I had a screaming match with her and my husband just watched. She left and told her family about what a horrible mother I was and even claimed I was abusing my husband by giving him tasks he can not handle. They of course sided with her. AITA?

Here's what people had to say:

Natural_Garbage7674 says:

YTA. I'm going to soften this a little bit because I'm sure this is all very hard for you. You have two young children that it sounds like you are essentially raising as a single mother.

You know your husband can't look after the kids. You know it's not safe to leave them with someone who loses time and gets confused. You know you need a babysitter when you go out.

You know that you should not have gone out yesterday and that you wanted to go shopping, but you didn't have to yesterday. You know your MIL is right that you essentially left the kids alone, unsupervised and you're lucky she turned up.

But you did it anyway. This is a sign that you aren't coping. You need help. You need to find resources that make things easier for you.

juccals1993 asks:

How are you finding this mentally, with having to do all this on your own, Do you receive any help from anybody. I think you have your hands full.

throwaway564366 OP says:

No unfortunately no one's willing to help. Even his mother. They'd say they'd come if I call or let them know I need help but on many occasions they'd ignored me. Thus I hired a babysitter.

Little-Martha31204 says:

YES...I was just going to comment this with a gently YTA. I can feel the struggle of the OP in her comments.

reyballesta says:

There is no help from her family or husband's family. They're happy to chastise her, but not to help. I honestly think she needs to think about whether or not this marriage is sustainable for her. It sounds like the husband needs 24/7 care, and she can't provide that while also raising kids. The MIL clearly doesn't care about the children's actual safety so much as she cares about berating OP.

RuthlessBenedict says:

YTA and I strongly suspect this isn’t exactly about the Christmas shopping. You’ve been experiencing a stressful situation that is likely to cause anyone to burn out. Needing a break to get out of the house alone is reasonable. Leaving your children without adequate care is not.

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