When this woman is fed up with her family holiday tradition, she asks Reddit:
My mother has always hosted Christmas dinner and in the past it has always been tradition to exchange gifts with each person.
It’s a lot of money to spend and typically we have always just exchanged lists of who wants what and purchased off that, or have tried to come up with our own gift idea which is honestly never very good and never what the person wants.
We are essentially either buying out of obligation or buying something the person doesn’t want. It is stressful to shop for gifts for everyone and I know my sibling shares the same thoughts.
In the past I have suggested we donate to needy families children, to gift a family that would be truly appreciative or to change up how we do gifts amongst the family.
This thought is always well received by my mom immediately after Christmas, but when Christmas time rolls around she wants nothing to do with changing up the tradition.
This year she got quite upset that I asked if we could handle gifts differently this year, so AITA for suggesting we change up how we handle gift giving?
NTA. Once my five nephews were in their early 20s, we started picking names of who to buy for so everyone only spent money on one person.
On Thanksgiving, we'd pull out a bowl, throw names in and each pick one. Now that most of them have families, we only buy for the children, no more gifts for the adults. If your mom is adamant on gifts, maybe this could be a compromise.
NTA. The money adds up and gifts can be difficult to buy. I think your suggestion is lovely. You could always do a secret Santa too, so you only have to buy 1 gift. Regardless, if your siblings are in agreement with you, perhaps you should all try to convince your mom together.
Gifts are traditional and fun, but Christmas should really be about the time you are spending together. Your mother should understand that.