Parenting

<h2>AITA for not paying the bakery for my stepson&#39;s birthday cake after I was told I wasn&#39;t invited?</h2><blockquote> <p>I f35 married my husband m38 2 years ago. He has a son named Caleb, age 15. His mom is super involved and shares custody of him with my husband.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Caleb and I were doing fine at first. But after marriage I noticed he&#39;s been wanting to do almost everything with his mom and exclude me. Even when it&#39;s my husband&#39;s time to have him, I&#39;m excluded from any activities and my husband would tell me to give it time. In the past he&#39;d get involved but now says I&#39;m being too pushy.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>Caleb&#39;s 15th birthday party was last week. My husband said the party was going to take place at a park but the problem is Caleb wanted his mom there, and his mom refused to come unless I&#39;m not there. I was in shock when my husband &quot;advised&quot; me to sit this one out. It&#39;s not like I&#39;m there in every event?. I didn&#39;t make a fuss I said if that&#39;s what Caleb want then why not?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>The day of the celebration, The birthday cake was ready from the bakery and my husband called me telling me to pay for it. I asked why and he said he didn&#39;t have money to pay for it himself.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>I asked why Caleb&#39;s mom wouldn&#39;t pay and he lashed out rushing me to just go ahead and pay and we&#39;ll discuss it later. I said no, I will not pay since I&#39;m not even invited to the birthday. I hung up after he tried to start an argument.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>He came home fuming saying he couldn&#39;t grasp how petty I was to refuse to pay for the cake knowing he had no money. I said he never told me I had to pay. And also I&#39;m not obligated to pay even when he&#39;s unemployed and can&#39;t afford it.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>He yelled at me saying I put myself above his son and showed him that I&#39;m fine with ruining his birthday. He stormed off and ended up getting cupcakes for the party. His sister called me and accused me of ruining Caleb&#39;s birthday when I could&#39;ve just paid and being uninvited wasn&#39;t an excuse to &quot;neglect&quot; my duty as a stepmom.</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>My husband&#39;s still so mad about it and said he just discovered a real petty side of me he never knew I had.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>ETA: It was a 4 - layer cake with Caleb&#39;s favorite flavor and toping. The cost was $110. May not seem much but my salary is barely covering everything in our home.</p> </blockquote><blockquote> <p>ETA2: for the people who are asking why $110 cake For a 15 year old. I had no say in the matter, I didn&#39;t even know I was expected to pay for it. That was an instant no from me and its cost was one of the reasons why I said no.</p> </blockquote><p>Comments:</p><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Academic_Ninja_9242/">Academic_Ninja_9242</a> asks:</p><blockquote> <p>INFO: why no job for the husband?</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/EmmaJeffs4356/">EmmaJeffs4356</a> OP responded:</p><blockquote> <p>He&#39;s been out of work for 3 months, barely has gas money and relies on me to keep the home running why not working? Because he said he&#39;s looking for a better paying job but still hasn&#39;t found it.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/upsidedownes/">upsidedownes</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>NTA But big yikes, y&rsquo;all need counseling but honestly id suggest running for the hills.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/EmmaJeffs4356/">EmmaJeffs4356</a> OP responded:</p><blockquote> <p>I told my husband about counseling, even as a family but he got offended and said there was nothing wrong with him and his son and that I should stop trying to be controlling.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/EugeneVictorTooms/">EugeneVictorTooms</a> sats:</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><blockquote> <p>It seems like it&#39;s fine for OP to support this loser and his son, but she better not show her face at an event she&#39;s expected to fund.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/surfers_paradise/">surfers_paradise</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>Why would your husband order a cake he can&rsquo;t afford ? NTA</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/DefiantHoliday6491/">DefiantHoliday6491</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>These people saying E S H because it was &quot;petty &quot; of the stepmother not to pay for a cake for a party she was uninvited from clearly don&#39;t understand that true pettiness would have been the stepmother buying the cake and eating it herself.</p> </blockquote><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/Still_Storm7432/">Still_Storm7432</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>Why are you married to him?he has 0 respect for you or your feelings..NTA but please find your self respect and dump him</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><a data-testid="comment_author_link" href="https://www.reddit.com/user/ItsNorthernJohnson/">ItsNorthernJohnson</a> says:</p><blockquote> <p>I don&rsquo;t usually jump on the divorce train but in this case I think OP should definitely bail</p> </blockquote><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

Woman isn't invited to stepson's birthday, so she refuses to pay for cake.

AITA for not paying the bakery for my stepson&#39;s birthday cake after I was told I wasn&#39;t invited? I f35 married my husband m38 2 years ago. He has a son named Caleb, age 15. His mom is super involved and shares custody of him with my husband.  Caleb and I were doing fine at first. But after marriage I noticed he&#39;s been wanting to do almost everything with his mom and exclude me. Even when it&#39;s my husband&#39;s time to have him, I&#39;m excluded from any activities and my husband would tell me to give it time. In the past he&#39;d get involved but now says I&#39;m being too pushy.  Caleb&#39;s 15th birthday party was last week. My husband said the party was going to take place at a park but the problem is Caleb wanted his mom there, and his mom refused to come unless I&#39;m not there. I was in shock when my husband &quot;advised&quot; me to sit this one out. It&#39;s not like I&#39;m there in every event?. I didn&#39;t make a fuss I said if that&#39;s what Caleb want then why not?  The day of the celebration, The birthday cake was ready from the bakery and my husband called me telling me to pay for it. I asked why and he said he didn&#39;t have money to pay for it himself.  I asked why Caleb&#39;s mom wouldn&#39;t pay and he lashed out rushing me to just go ahead and pay and we&#39;ll discuss it later. I said no, I will not pay since I&#39;m not even invited to the birthday. I hung up after he tried to start an argument.  He came home fuming saying he couldn&#39;t grasp how petty I was to refuse to pay for the cake knowing he had no money. I said he never told me I had to pay. And also I&#39;m not obligated to pay even when he&#39;s unemployed and can&#39;t afford it.  He yelled at me saying I put myself above his son and showed him that I&#39;m fine with ruining his birthday. He stormed off and ended up getting cupcakes for the party. His sister called me and accused me of ruining Caleb&#39;s birthday when I could&#39;ve just paid and being uninvited wasn&#39;t an excuse to &quot;neglect&quot; my duty as a stepmom.  My husband&#39;s still so mad about it and said he just discovered a real petty side of me he never knew I had.  ETA: It was a 4 - layer cake with Caleb&#39;s favorite flavor and toping. The cost was $110. May not seem much but my salary is barely covering everything in our home.  ETA2: for the people who are asking why $110 cake For a 15 year old. I had no say in the matter, I didn&#39;t even know I was expected to pay for it. That was an instant no from me and its cost was one of the reasons why I said no. Comments:Academic_Ninja_9242 asks: INFO: why no job for the husband? EmmaJeffs4356 OP responded: He&#39;s been out of work for 3 months, barely has gas money and relies on me to keep the home running why not working? Because he said he&#39;s looking for a better paying job but still hasn&#39;t found it. upsidedownes says: NTA But big yikes, y&rsquo;all need counseling but honestly id suggest running for the hills. EmmaJeffs4356 OP responded: I told my husband about counseling, even as a family but he got offended and said there was nothing wrong with him and his son and that I should stop trying to be controlling. EugeneVictorTooms sats: It seems like it&#39;s fine for OP to support this loser and his son, but she better not show her face at an event she&#39;s expected to fund. surfers_paradise says: Why would your husband order a cake he can&rsquo;t afford ? NTA DefiantHoliday6491 says: These people saying E S H because it was &quot;petty &quot; of the stepmother not to pay for a cake for a party she was uninvited from clearly don&#39;t understand that true pettiness would have been the stepmother buying the cake and eating it herself. Still_Storm7432 says: Why are you married to him?he has 0 respect for you or your feelings..NTA but please find your self respect and dump him ItsNorthernJohnson says: I don&rsquo;t usually jump on the divorce train but in this case I think OP should definitely bail 

AITA for not paying the bakery for my stepson&#39;s birthday cake after I was told I wasn&#39;t invited?   I f35 married my husband m38 2 years ago. He has a son named Caleb, age 15. His mom is super involved and shares custody of him with...