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Woman isn't invited to stepson's birthday, so she refuses to pay for cake.

Woman isn't invited to stepson's birthday, so she refuses to pay for cake.


AITA for not paying the bakery for my stepson's birthday cake after I was told I wasn't invited?

I f35 married my husband m38 2 years ago. He has a son named Caleb, age 15. His mom is super involved and shares custody of him with my husband.

Caleb and I were doing fine at first. But after marriage I noticed he's been wanting to do almost everything with his mom and exclude me. Even when it's my husband's time to have him, I'm excluded from any activities and my husband would tell me to give it time. In the past he'd get involved but now says I'm being too pushy.

Caleb's 15th birthday party was last week. My husband said the party was going to take place at a park but the problem is Caleb wanted his mom there, and his mom refused to come unless I'm not there. I was in shock when my husband 'advised' me to sit this one out. It's not like I'm there in every event?. I didn't make a fuss I said if that's what Caleb want then why not?

The day of the celebration, The birthday cake was ready from the bakery and my husband called me telling me to pay for it. I asked why and he said he didn't have money to pay for it himself.

I asked why Caleb's mom wouldn't pay and he lashed out rushing me to just go ahead and pay and we'll discuss it later. I said no, I will not pay since I'm not even invited to the birthday. I hung up after he tried to start an argument.

He came home fuming saying he couldn't grasp how petty I was to refuse to pay for the cake knowing he had no money. I said he never told me I had to pay. And also I'm not obligated to pay even when he's unemployed and can't afford it.

He yelled at me saying I put myself above his son and showed him that I'm fine with ruining his birthday. He stormed off and ended up getting cupcakes for the party. His sister called me and accused me of ruining Caleb's birthday when I could've just paid and being uninvited wasn't an excuse to 'neglect' my duty as a stepmom.

My husband's still so mad about it and said he just discovered a real petty side of me he never knew I had.

ETA: It was a 4 - layer cake with Caleb's favorite flavor and toping. The cost was $110. May not seem much but my salary is barely covering everything in our home.

ETA2: for the people who are asking why $110 cake For a 15 year old. I had no say in the matter, I didn't even know I was expected to pay for it. That was an instant no from me and its cost was one of the reasons why I said no.


Academic_Ninja_9242 asks:

INFO: why no job for the husband?

EmmaJeffs4356 OP responded:

He's been out of work for 3 months, barely has gas money and relies on me to keep the home running why not working? Because he said he's looking for a better paying job but still hasn't found it.

upsidedownes says:

NTA But big yikes, y’all need counseling but honestly id suggest running for the hills.

EmmaJeffs4356 OP responded:

I told my husband about counseling, even as a family but he got offended and said there was nothing wrong with him and his son and that I should stop trying to be controlling.

EugeneVictorTooms sats:

It seems like it's fine for OP to support this loser and his son, but she better not show her face at an event she's expected to fund.

surfers_paradise says:

Why would your husband order a cake he can’t afford ? NTA

DefiantHoliday6491 says:

These people saying E S H because it was 'petty ' of the stepmother not to pay for a cake for a party she was uninvited from clearly don't understand that true pettiness would have been the stepmother buying the cake and eating it herself.

Still_Storm7432 says:

Why are you married to him?he has 0 respect for you or your feelings..NTA but please find your self respect and dump him

ItsNorthernJohnson says:

I don’t usually jump on the divorce train but in this case I think OP should definitely bail

Sources: Reddit
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