When this woman feels like she upset her SIL, she asks Reddit:
SIL and most of her family is upset with me because of a recent situation. My brother got married with SIL at a small church by our house. My daughter’s birthday was the day right after and it was perfect because all the family was in town anyways for the wedding.
My husband is a surgeon and he loves to spoil our daughters and I love planning parties so I booked a really nice garden venue and made it a princess carnival theme for all the kids and adults to enjoy together.
It was a beautiful event but towards the end of it, I got pulled into the bathroom where SIL was upset and crying saying a 5 year old outshone her wedding.
Then she got mad at me saying it was disrespectful to schedule the birthday party near her wedding time and not talk to her about.
However, it’s not like I can change the day my daughter’s birthday falls on and SIL was invited to my daughter’s birthday weeks in advance so it’s not like I dropped it on her last minute.
Honestly, I have a hard time relating to the “It’s my special day and no one else can have as good a day as me” wedding stuff. I understand getting upset about a guest wearing white or not matching themes or when relatives act stupid at weddings. But, some of this stuff is just crazy. I’ve never gotten worked up about such things myself.
In this situation, her special day was over. The next day was a little girls birthday and she wanted a princess party. If you don’t want a birthday celebration next to your wedding, don’t choose the day before your niece’s birthday.
They, two adults, chose their wedding date. The child didn’t choose her birthdate. We’re they supposed to pretend she didn’t have a birthday this year? If that woman is upset, remind her that she made the schedule.
Don’t let it bother you for one more second. The magic of being little is short lived. Your new SIL has the rest of her life to find more things to be miserable about. You only have a short time for magical princess parties. NTA.
I think it’s pretty crazy she’s getting jealous over a little girl but quite a few family members on her side are saying I’m in the wrong. AITA?
Easily NTA. Can normal people stop with the “outshining” BS already! NO! At every event I invite people to, I want my guests to SHINE LIKE A DIAMOND. I want them to look hot, look elegant, look amazing for MY pictures that will be shared with them, OF THEM. I’m so tired of being feel like they’re being “upstaged/got the limelight stolen/outshined etc.” Talk about insecurities. Happiest Bday to your princess!!
YTA. This wasn’t about your daughter’s birthday, it was about shifting the attention from your SIL’s one big day to yourself and your family (I.e $URGEON HU$BAND), and I’m surprised more Redditors can’t see that. Also, I doubt your SIL was jealous of a little girl.
She was probably more hurt that you would have the audacity to do something like that. My family throws little birthday parties all the time when everyone is together. They’re fun, low-key events and not intended to distract from the reason we’re all together in the first place.