Woman reacts badly to sister's pregnancy; family concerned she's a 'sociopath.' AITA?
When this woman is upset with her sister's announcement, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for not reacting well to my sister's pregnancy?"
I (23F) have an older sister (26F) and a brother (29M). My sister is currently the only sibling with a child, my two-year-old nephew "Alex". I'm a full-time college student and work part-time.
I also live alone, so I don't see friends and family as much, and I only go out occasionally because I have bills to pay and barely any spare time due to work and college.
A few weeks ago, I decided to have a few days off from college for last week and my sister asked me if my nephew could stay at mine for the day as we haven't bonded, and I agreed. I should have mentioned this at the beginning, but I'm not really a kids person and prefer not to be around them.
When Friday came, it was time to pick up my nephew so I could have him for the day. And it's beginning to get cold now, so his mother wraps him up in layers when he goes outside.
After driving home, I took my nephew inside my apartment and got the layers off. I noticed the T-shirt had some writing and read it: "I'm going to be a big brother". I was happy for him that he was going to be a big brother; his mum and dad have been talking about planning for baby number two for a long time since he was born.
A few hours later, my sister called me to see how he was doing and asked if I noticed anything about the shirt. I said yeah, I know he will be a big brother. She said, "And?" so I said congratulations.
She hung up the phone immediately. About two hours after the phone call happened, I dropped my nephew off to his parents, and my parents and brother were there waiting, which was unexpected. My sister and her husband got my nephew to bed, and they came downstairs as soon as he was sleeping.
My parents started arguing with me, calling me an asshole for the way I responded and telling me I should be over the moon that my nephew was going to be a big brother.
My sister's pregnancy isn't the biggest news in the world. My parents and I argued for a bit and I left. They did blow up my phone for a while continuing to say my response was an ahole response.
A few days later, my sister and her husband were on all the social media apps. My brother finally shared the news on social media and told all his mates he would be an uncle again.
My parents and siblings are pissed with me still because I'm not announcing on Facebook or WhatsApp, which are the only social media app I use, that I'm going to be an aunt again.
They're also pissed off that I'm not going around telling every Tom, Dick and Harry I'm going to be an aunt again. They're like jeez are you a sociopath or something? Why don't you care? AITA here, or are my family overreacting, which I think they're doing?
Let's see what readers thought.
discountmithral writes:
NTA. It's not only not their first child, but it's not your child - it's theirs. If anyone should be announcing it on social media, it's the parents. You have every right to not be elated for them.
I always find it so weird people get upset over this. Like what, congrats you creampied your wife and made another human, woo... (But I am also not a "kids person".)
irrelevantmanatee writes:
Soft ESH. Your sister probably expected you to be happy for her. I get that you don't really like kids a lot : but she is your sister, had a big great news, and was happy to share with you... and you just didn't react. At all.
You don't owe your sister to share your undying enthusiasm over social media. But a "Wow, congrats!" is the bare minimum if you care about someone. Must be hurtful for her to see you dismiss her and show such lack of care. Imagine if you got your dream and you sister didn't bother acknowledging it.
You parents & family sucks for harassing you about it. They shouldn't pressure you to post on social media if you don't want to.
gopherdog7 writes:
Soft ESH. Your sister shared what she viewed as fantastic, life changing news with you and your response was "meh." If you shared with your sister that you received a raise, got your dream job or made the dean's list and her response was "okay" or "meh," I would judge her to be an AH.
Generally, unless something else is going on between you all, the normal response would be, "I'm so happy for you!" or "Congratulations!"
Your family, on the other hand, sounds exhausting. You have no obligation to share your sister's news on social media.
You have no obligation to tell anyone in your friend circle. Quite frankly, it's not your news to share and I have zero doubt that none of your non-mutual friends care that you're going to be an aunt again.