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Woman refuses to babysit 5 yo autistic sister. AITA?

Woman refuses to babysit 5 yo autistic sister. AITA?


When this woman feels burdened by her younger sister, she asks Reddit:

"AITA for saying no to babysit?"

I am constantly being asked to watch my sister by my parents. For context, I am 25 with a full-time job, life, and live half hour away. My sister is 5 years old and has autism. I am 1 of two people they trust and rely on to watch her if they want to do something.

They refuse to use a service or hire someone they don’t know/trust because she is challenging. So, when they can’t find a sitter, they can’t do anything. And that leaves me being guilt tripped because I love them and want them to go out and have fun….but I simply don’t want to watch her.

Its not about the money at all, It’s just constant stress added when I’m trying to live my life in the free time I have. I already watch her 2x a month when I can and am still constantly being asked to watch her. Even if it’s months in advance and on a day when I’m “available” I just don’t want to commit to It and feel obligated.

In 4 years, I’ve tried to set boundaries, I’ve said no more times than yes, told them how I feel guilt tripped etc. and they just say I am her favorite, they’ll pay me, they want to do something together, they don’t trust anyone else, etc.

I don’t know how to say find someone else and stop asking me without sounding mean/ knowing that she has autism, and i should be helping and if i don’t then they won’t do anything. AITA?

Let's see what internet users had to say.

bradorsett writes:

NTA, totally understand even with months in advance you want to say no. When someone constantly asked for you to do something that isn’t your job or is always inconvenient or feels guilted into doing, you start to never want to do it even if you have every option to do it, so I don’t blame you for feeling that way.

They need to get someone who can do the job most the time and only ask you occasionally, like 2 or 3 times a year max! You should be able to see your sister because you want to, not because you have to, this could definitely lead to a bad relationship with your sister and possibly making you resent her if they keep this up.

avocadosdontbite writes:

NAH. Your sister's severe autism that requires a constant caregiver is hard on the entire family. I worked with this population and I understand your parents have concerns about turning to outsiders for respite care, but ultimately that is what they are going to need to do.

You or the other person they trust could move away, or have children of your own, or be too busy. Your sister is going to require care for the rest of her life.

They are going to get older and sicker (happens to all of us) and they need to not just have 1-2 family members in their corner, they need to start NOW developing a network of trusted respite care people who they can call on to help out once a week, or every other week, so that they get breaks.

So I would continue to set boundaries and I would continue to encourage them to pursue outside respite care. It's in your sister's best interests.

Looks like OP is NTA here. Any advice for her?

Sources: Reddit
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