'AITA for not letting my ex husband to bring his wife to our daughter's birthday party?'
"AITA for not letting my ex husband to bring his wife to our daughter's birthday party?"
My ex husband (David) and I were married for 5 years and last year we divorced. We have a one daughter (lily) who recently turned 7 this year.
Lily's birthday was around the corner so I was busy with decorations, the cake and the invitations. I asked her who she wanted to attended her birthday party and she said she wanted her aunts , uncle's, cousins basically everyone she knew from both sides .
I wasn't bothered with lily inviting anyone from her father's side because we were both familiar and comfortable with them. I called David and I told him about the invitations and he was cool with it until he bought up his wife. He told me that he will bring his wife, he didn't ask me, he told me like he was forcing it because he knew I would say no and I did say no.
I told that I was not comfortable with his wife especially her meeting lily and lily doesn't even know her that much and I haven't even had a proper talk with her before she can see my daughter.
The only thing I knew about this lady was that she did something wrong with my husband knowing very well he's married and has a daughter and I was supposed to feel comfortable with that.
He then told me that I was making this about me and not lily , that lily is child , she doesn't even know anything yet and he really wants lily to meet his wife and she also wants to meet her. I said to him that if she really wants to meet lily then she has to speak to me first and see how she really is before I can trust her with my baby.
He replied to me by saying that I was jealous and that I didn't want lily too see her new family and be comfortable with them and that i was hurting his wife because I wouldn't let her see her step daughter who is like her own daughter.
I was done with him and told him if he didn't want to come then it's fine it's not like he payed a single dime for anything for the birthday party and he was crazy for me to say yes to a woman who ruined my marriage and is the reason why my daughter has to grow up with separated parents.
EDIT: The stepmom does know lily and lily knows that she does have step mom but they haven't met which is not my responsibility and yes David does have visitation rights so I don't know why he doesn't introduce them to each other. That's reason why step mom said she also wants to meet her. AITA?
Here's what people had to say to OP:
aggravatingpain7 writes:
Introducing his new wife to lily at lily's birthday party is where this is wrong. It is lily's party, and not a time to meet her father's new wife. How many times has lily met this woman? If lily did not mention her when you asked about who she wants to be invited, then lily either doesn't know her or doesn't want her. NTA.
cursingchristian writes:
NTA. OP's ex-spouse is the as&^%le...and a hypocrite. He's using his child's birthday to introduce his new mistress/wife who contributed to their marriage being destroyed. Then he wants everyone to get along like the whole situation is normal?! The audacity.
And what kind of father allows the ex-spouse to front the entire bill on their child's birthday?! Unless he had a valid reason that he had discussed with OP prior to the event, he is a double asshole for skipping the financial contribution.
It sounds like Lily has never met the ex’s wife?!? WTF is that? Who marries someone without ever introducing their child. The ex sounds like a duplicitous ass who kept something from his wife first and now his child. How would that into go? “Happy birthday. This is your new step-mom who you’ve never met.” Great way to ruin a child’s day.
I'm pretty shocked that they're already married and she hasn't met Lily yet... Do you have full custody? Does Lily ever get to spend time with her father?