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Woman refuses to see sister before her wedding to avoid body shaming. AITA?

Woman refuses to see sister before her wedding to avoid body shaming. AITA?


When this woman doesn't want to see her sister before her wedding, she asks Reddit:

"WIBTA if I refused to see my sister before her wedding?"

My sister is getting married in 2 months. She asked me to be her bridesmaid. A month after her telling me she wanted me to be a bridesmaid she takes me shopping to start looking at bridesmaid outfits.

She put me in some awful options but at the end of the day it's her wedding if she wanted me in a bin bag I'd just smile through the pain.

When I was trying on one of the worst options (a neon yellow dress with pale blue feathers) she casually dropped the "obviously you need to lose the extra weight so the dresses start to look nice on you.

I was thinking you have time to lose a couple of stone before the wedding". I was taken aback.

The idea that she had said something like that to me was ridiculous because we've discussed at length how our Mum's attitude towards food and weight has Fed us both up a bit. (For context I am 5 foot 4 and 12 stone so yes overweight but not to the point of it being something often brought up to me).

I laughed her off saying "oh I don't know" and it wasn't discussed again. A couple of months later my Mum casually remarks on my eating habits saying "oh didn't (sister's name) talk to you about you needing to eat healthier before the wedding)". This started a whole 'debate' over how I thought it was ridiculous.

Skipping ahead my sister texted me saying "I thought you agreed. Me and (fiancé) have discussed this and for you to be such an integral part of our wedding you need to fit the aesthetic properly". I have taken this to mean 'lose weight or your out'.

WIBTA if I refused to see my sister before her wedding so that people could stop discussing my weight. I think if I just don't see her she won't know if I have or haven't lost weight and then hopefully we can pretend nothing has happened?

Let's see what readers thought.

wisewoman707 writes:

NTA, but if it were me I would drop out of the wedding. You are her sister, whom she is supposed to love and want to share her big day with, not a prop in a social media "aesthetic." Shame on her and your mom!

Question -- if you remain a bridesmaid and don't see your sister till the wedding day, and by that day you haven't lost any weight (damn, just the thought of this directive is so insulting!!), do you really think she won't say anything?

Do you think your mom won't say anything? Do you really think you'll enjoy the day? Do you really want to participate in something that is conditional on you jumping through certain hoops to be good enough for?

sleepless7 writes:

ESH just because you aren’t speaking up for yourself, like you should have the minute she suggested it. Don’t avoid your sister.

Tell her point blank that you’re not losing weight for a wedding, and if she can’t handle that you’re not going to be in the wedding. They aren’t letting this go and you can’t just avoid it and hope it resolves itself.

okweather8 writes:

YWBTA if you play childish games about the issue. If you want to deal with it maturely, now is the time for a serious discussion with your sister.

Basically, either she accepts you and your body as it is and there will be no further discussion of weight loss, or her "aesthetic" as it relates to body types, or you withdraw as bridesmaid and attend the wedding as a supportive and happy guest.

If your size really is an issue for her, then save yourself from the harassment and just depart the wedding party.

Looks like the jury's out. What do YOU think?

Sources: Reddit
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