Woman says ex's Christmas gift to their daughter shows his 'true colors.' AITA?
When this woman is furious with her ex's gift to their daughter, she asks Reddit:
"AITA my ex had changed but his "gift" to our daughter proved otherwise?"
My(38F) oldest child (15F) has been living with her dad (43M) and grandparents in a different state due to behavioral issues she had at school last year. She's been there since August of this year. Her sister (13F) still lives with me. They are both with me for Christmas this year.
My oldest asked me and her dad both for a particular video game. I told her that since she also asked her dad for the game, I was going to get her other things. The grandparents texted my youngest to ask what to buy for my oldest (even though she's living with them). My youngest suggested nice art supplies.
When we picked up my oldest over the weekend, her dad gave us Christmas gifts to open at my house. My youngest had several boxes but my oldest only had one large bag. When we opened gifts this morning, I was quite heartbroken on my oldest's behalf.
Nothing was labeled but she opened a pair of Walmart brand sweatpants in a size much larger than she wears, a t shirt for a local sports team (she's an art kid so not into sports), and a cheap sketchbook.
She went to open the last gift, thinking it was the video game since it was the right shape but it was a pack of RoseArt colored pencils. Honestly, she held it together better than the rest of us did.
Her younger sister texted her dad to ask what gift was from him. He said the video game. She said that there wasn't a video game in the bag. He said he had it with him. I want to note, he did not tell my oldest that he forgot the gift, or that it was waiting for her when she got back. He said nothing. So honestly, who knows if he got her anything. Idk, this just shows his true colors.
This does track as typical behavior from him but I had hoped he would have gotten better. As seen on Tiktok recently, I always had to stuff my own stocking.
One year, he didn't bother to even wish me a Happy Birthday on the day. When I mentioned that he forgot my birthday he said he didn't think he had to say anything because I had celebrated with my extended family a week earlier.
But that's me. I had hoped he would treat his child better, especially since she's living with him now. I'm going to take her to GameStop tomorrow. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
michelex0289 writes:
A lot of you guys are totally missing the point here. This isn't about the ex not communicating with OP. It's about the ex not communicating with his child and leaving the child feeling hurt and forgotten.
A simple, "hey hunny. I'm sending some gifts for you to open at your mom's but I kept a one here that I really want to see you open" That's just the biggest issue in this post.
The next is the wrong sizing of clothing and not her interests. Which shows he may be the parent that's currently living with her, but he does not know her. And put forth little effort.
Then there's the discount art supplies. When Michaels had multiple 50% off coupons, he could have gotten her a nice set for a reasonable price. This is a father who's not ashamed or afraid of hurting his daughters just to spite their mother. It's sick. Kids are not pawns to move in your sick twisted game.
spagehtti7 writes:
NTA. Your ex sounds immature imo, I won’t expect much from him. Your kid is old enough to understand that too unfortunately. It would be nice if there’s another father figure in her life that would be more involve. I have a similar father too so I sort of understand her.
spiritualwind3898 writes:
NTA. My ex (first xmas separated) gave our child NOTHING. Had a bbq at his house. Gave presenta to his staff and nothing to child. He said he had ordered it and it will arrive soon.fyi the present he says he ordered is avialbe in a shop 3min drive from his house.
Our child said nothing and pretended it didnt matter but F man, thats gotta hurt. I made sure the rest of the day was filled with love and family. But no matter what i do, there is no making up for his fathers bs.