Woman stands up to MIL; says 'I don't CARE if you come to my baby's bday party.' AITA?
When this woman is furious with her MIL, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for not backing down to my MIL and not caring if she comes to my son’s 1st birthday?"
My mother-in-law has always made side digs at me like when I was pregnant, that I wasn’t doing enough, and that I was sleeping too much when she was pregnant she never had that luxury.
Mind you I had morning sickness all the way up to 20 weeks and when I say morning sickness I was sick all day I had to go to the doctors to get nausea tablets for it. And still worked 40 hours a week.
That’s some backstory. But I’ll get to the point of why I’m writing here at the moment. We got into an argument two weeks ago over mouldy pumpkin. I know it sounds stupid.
My partner was cutting up some veggies to give to my son. And I saw that there was pumpkin there that had mould on it and I saw him just cut off the mould and was cutting up the pumpkin.
I told him to stop as a pumpkin had mould in it and I wasn’t giving it to my son. Then mother-in-law chimed in and said I’ve been having pumpkin like that since I was a kid and nothing happened to me so it’s fine and I told her that pumpkin is porous and that mould is probably through all the pumpkin she told me to stop being so childish, and that it was fine.
I told her it’s not fine as it is my child, and I will not be feeding him pumpkin that has mould on it. And then I hadn’t spoken to her in two weeks. My partner took my son over there to see her yesterday. And because I know how she is and she likes to ignore people I wasn’t going to be the person to apologise. Something I didn’t think was wrong.
And my partner told her about my son‘s birthday party that is in three months and we have decided to plan it now because it is in December and I know people go away and everything and she said she will not be attending my son’s birthday party...
because of me and my partner should put me in my place and he should wake up to himself now I’m really pissed. Should I stick my ground or am I the arsehole? AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
dutchdaddy8 writes:
NTA. Even if you would've been wrong about the pumpkin thing, which you're not, it's still your (you and your partner's) child, so it's your decision what you want to feed them.
Also, MIL is the generation that also survived measles without vaccines and riding bicycles without helmets. Just because you've done something and "turned out fine" says nothing about how safe it is.
libbaloo writes:
NTA at all. You my friend have a JustNoMIL. If you give in now, your entire marriage will be your MIL lording over you and being nasty and dismissive to you (in front of your child no less! HELL no).
I hope your partner has your back. If he doesn't, he does indeed need to sack up, but not in the way MIL thinks. If he can't/won't despite her absolutely unacceptable behavior, you may have some hard choices to make.
Take it a step further and make it known she is specifically not invited to your son's bday party, or to your home at all until she checks herself (which probably will never happen at her age).
Honestly, if she continues this behavior I wouldn't allow hubby to even bring the kid to her. All she'll do is badmouth you in front of your kid the whole time they're together.
naturalgas writes:
NTA. Giving the silent treatment is juvenile. It literally doesn't matter if you didn't want your son to eat mouldy pumpkin, as long as he's still fed, what does it matter if you "waste" the pumpkin.
She's literally ignoring you for not feeding your kid a toxic substance. If she's so committed to being right that she would poison her grandkid, she can just stay silent.