Woman suggests to fellow soccer mom to take her daughter off the team. AITA?
When this mom gets into a fight with another soccer mom, she asks Reddit:
"AITA for suggesting to another soccer mom to remove her daughter from our team?"
I will start by saying as parents we should be able to gage our children's abilities and what programs are the best fit for them. We play on a competitive recreational indoor soccer league (during our non parks and rec off season).
The Parks and Rec in our area offer two different forms of indoor soccer "social" being the least competitive and more about having a good time, being laid back & learning at a slower pace and "competitive"... self explanatory. Our kids are 9-10 yrs old and really want to win! These girls fight hard and truly give it their all.
One player on the team literally just runs around flailing her arms in the air. She does not know the rules of the game. She will drop to the ground on field and start throwing a fit if the other team scores a goal.
Screaming "we're going to lose!". It's such a distraction to all of the players on the team. And even the opposing team gets so confused. They have her in the defender box most of the time and when it's time to defend and match up she shakes her hands in the other kids face or just runs the opposite direction.
It's just hard to watch as a parent. Also a factor in this is we pay a few hundred in fees every season and some of us help sponsor as well. So we are invested in being competitive. This isn't professional soccer lol but we still take it pretty serious.
I spoke with her mother recently who just laughed and giggled about the girls behavior. Calling it "cute" and how she's just having a good time out there. I did not pry into her medical history because that's none of my business. But the mom voluntarily shared that her daughter had ADHD and was thinking about medications.
Personally I think there is something else going on with the kid, but again that part is none of my biz! I then suggested to the mom maybe the social league would be a better fit for her daughter, that what she was doing on the field and during practice was so distracting and counterproductive.
That it was detrimental to the team and our chances of even making the playoffs. She snapped at me hardcore and said this is "just little kids sports" and it shouldn't matter at all to "keep my f-ing thoughts to myself". Also that she won't go to the social league and how dare I even approach her with my opinion. Am I the asshole here??
**Other parents and even the coaches have shown frustration. But I'm the only one who actually spoke up. AITA?
Let's see what readers thought.
yasia7 writes:
Some coach -or somebody in charge- should put on their adult undergarments and kick the kid off the team. For the good of alll the other little girls that actually want to play and not just run around on a grassy field. NTA.
richardcarium80 writes:
The fact that the coach hasn’t done this is what’s confusing me. This makes me believe it’s one of two situations 1) it’s actually not as competitive as op is saying and actually just a house league level team that as long as you pay fee anyone can join, 2) it is competitive and the girl earned her spot by either being good enough or team needing her as a number. Either way I say YTA.
lirdige6785 writes:
ESH. That's a conversation you and the other parents (individually, don't gang up) need to have with the Coach and then it's up to the Coach to decide if that child should be on the team.
Since the club has gone out of the way to have a separate team for kids that are more into the fun aspect, then that should be utilized but maybe that schedule doesn't work for them.
If she's that much of a distraction during games I'm surprised the Coach hasn't stepped in but at the end of the day it's the Coach' decision to make.