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Woman tells husband that his financial decision regarding inheritance is 'unfair.' AITA?

Woman tells husband that his financial decision regarding inheritance is 'unfair.' AITA?


When this mom is concerned with her husband's financial decision, she asks Reddit:

"AITA for thinking it unfair my husband plans to give money to his daughter who shared his parents’ inheritance already?"

My husband Nate and I (both 50) have been married 24 years with twin sons (22). He got into an awful car accident a couple months ago and though was not seriously injured he was shaken. He now often talks about how life is fleeting and we should make sure to be prepared.

Nate has 2 siblings, an older brother and a sister Tina (33). Tina is actually Nate’s biological daughter. He had her in high school and his parents adopted her from birth. Her mom was never in the picture. The family all knows about this including Tina herself. Tina and my family were cordial but not close.

Nate’s parents passed within a year of each other almost a decade ago. They split all they had 3 ways for their 3 “kids.”

Five years ago Nate’s older brother decided to join a monastery. He left behind all of his worldly possessions to Tina and my sons though my sons mostly got things of sentimental value while Tina got things of more monetary value. I think my in laws were all within their rights to handle their money as they saw fit. My problem is Nate.

Yesterday Nate told me he had a rough idea of how he would like his possessions taken care of. Basically he would like to split all he has 3 ways: Tina and our 2 sons. We don’t have a lot but Nate has his parents’ inheritance and he would like to give that to all his children equally.

I asked him how was this fair? Tina was adopted by his parents and already received her inheritance as their daughter. If his parents gave him and his brother half and half, I would understand why he felt the need to provide Tina with something.

As it is, Tina already took from his share of the inheritance. Moreover his brother also gave her money and valuables worth more than our sons received. Tina is also a dentist. She is in no way in need of financial help.

Nate said at the end of the day Tina is his biological daughter and it is only right that he left her something. I don’t think we need to pile more money onto a capable woman with a good job who already has so much while our sons are still young and just starting their careers. AITA?

Let's see what readers thought.

insomniac34 writes:

Is it unfair? Maybe. It’s also unfair that Tina was not raised by her bio mom and dad, the parents she did have died when she was only 23 and she has very little relationship with her brother/father, nephews and stepmom/SIL. You’re focused on the money that Tina has received, but forgetting about the relationships she did not.

As your husband is reassessing his life, perhaps you should too. Talk with him about how he’s feeling about Tina, how you all can make her more a part of the family and how you can provide for the children you have together and the daughter he had as a teen. Need more money to spread around? Get life insurance. The money is the easy part, fix the emotional side. YTA.

bbcquail writes:

YTA. Your husband’s money, his choice. In addition, your sons are fortunate in that they have/will have you and your husband to guide them through life and provide all kinds of support for the foreseeable future. They also have each other. Brotherly bond is something you can rely on for the rest of your life.

Tina has none of what your sons has. Her “brothers” are much older and one also left the worldly life to join a monastery and her “parents” passed when she was so young. She probably thinks your sons are the more fortunate ones.

germanpotatosalad writes:

YTA. Your husband’s parents passed a decade ago. So when Tina was 23 and Nate was 40. And even though Tina was just starting out and Nate was middle aged— your husband still got an equal share. Which is exactly what you don’t want your husband to do.

Back then did you want your husband to disclaim his inheritance because Tina was young and he was established? I doubt it. Hell, I think it would’ve been fair for your husband to get no inheritance at all from his parents and for them to count raising his child as their inheritance to him.

Looks like OP is TA. What do YOU think?

Sources: Reddit
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