Woman tells mom, 'You FAKED cancer & pregnancy. You're NOT a grandma to my son.' AITA?
When this mom feels guilty about telling her mom the truth, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for telling my mom my son won’t attend her funeral?'
I (20f) and my mother (42f) haven’t always hated each other. When I was little, I was attached to her at the hip. It wasn’t until I was around 9 that things started to go downhill.
She got on H and ice, and also became a heavy drinker. She would lock us in closets, make us (mainly me) dumpster dive so we wouldn’t starve (she sold her food stamps for drug money, plus sold my aderall) and took away our blankets and pillows for “misbehaving” (I was 9??).
Shortly before my tenth birthday, she told us she was dropping us off at my dads early (he got us every other weekend). Usually, this wouldn’t be an issue. She would do this every now and then. So she drops us off at the front door and told us she would be back in a few days.
We didn’t hear from her for two years. I remember searching the paper for an obituary, mugshot, anything I could find to tell me my mama was okay. Eventually, that hope turned to hatred. I finally decided I didn’t care anymore. Then came the day where we found her mugshot.
She’d been arrested on three counts of armed robbery, as well as one count of possession with intent to sell. She was facing 15-20 in prison, but managed to weasel her way out of it. She showed up a couple weeks later with her boyfriend, high out of her mind.
Stating the court ordered her to go to rehab and stay on probation for 10 years. As the years passed, she got clean.
She apologized but the apologies mean nothing. In the time she has gotten clean, she has faked cancer three times, faked AN ENTIRE PREGNANCY, faked breaking her leg, stated she has everything under the sun.
But still pretends to be this wonderful Christian woman. I met my husband two years ago, we have a beautiful one year old little boy, and a two story house. I’ve finally begun to heal and give my baby the life I didn’t have, the stable home and emotional support.
I’ve completely cut my mom out of my life but she keeps finding ways to contact me. I’ve talked to my family and they say I’m TA for not giving her another chance. But I’ve told her she’ll never meet him, he won’t be at her funeral and neither will I. So, AITA?
Let's see what readers thought of this family drama.
thisisthecaptain writes:
NTA. Not everyone deserves a second chance. Besides, it sounds like she's on her hundredth. You can forgive her for your own well-being and inner peace without participating in her redemption arc.
Forgiving someone doesn't mean being in their life again, it just means you're not going to drag yourself down by resenting them anymore. Don't let your family bully you into drinking poison.
trevenaice writes:
NTA. She abandon you. She wasn't there when you needed her most - as a child. And even after getting clean she couldn't take responsible but tried the pity act, as it sounds from your description. If you don't want her in your life, don't have her. If she is more stress than anything else.
You owe her nothing! If she is keeping bothering you, tell her (via text messanger, so you have writen proof) you will call the cops and get a restraining order against her - which could violate her probation. So maybe she will stop with this over her head and if not, you can do this and force her to leave you alone.
haysayna writes:
NTA. You have no obligation to sacrifice your peace for someone who was supposed to protect it and instead destroyed it. Also, in general I don't think you are obligated to owe your parents anything.
That does sound harsh but considering your context, coming from both an emotional and logical perspective, I think you need to look out for yourself.
Your child (thankfully) hasn't been exposed to what you have and I think you should protect that and act in their best interest; if you were your child, would you want to meet your grandmother?
If you get a solid answer from that and it doesn't stress you out thinking of the outcome then I think your decision is made. Best of luck to you and your young family!